Mistakes, Errors, Blunders

Every girl, every woman, makes mistakes. It’s inevitable. Unfortunately, we put the spotlight on our mistake allowing ourselves to feel shame or to feel inferior to others.  But we should turn off the spotlight and only be concerned with whether or not we started making right decisions after our mistakes. No one can change the past.  Not possible.  Can't happen. We live in the now, and can make the future different than the past. It’s never too late to turn a mistake into an opportunity.

Everyone needs to accept that they are not perfect; therefore, in their past there are going to be blunders. Everyone has these blunders - even the best of us. When you make a mistake the first thing you have to do is accept it, but after that, you have to make the decision to not let the mistake define you. If you make a mistake that you regret you are in good company. There is nothing new under the sun and there is no mistake that you have made that someone else has not already made.

Don’t allow yourself to believe the lies that pop up in your head. “You should never have been so careless”, “You were stupid for having done that”, “She’ll never be my friend if she finds out what I did”. If you have these thoughts you can counteract them with the truth. “I am smart enough”, “Why wouldn’t she want to be friends with me?”, “I made a mistake, but I made the right decision after that.”

Once you have identified the negative thoughts and started to try to replace them with the truth. It’s time to pick up the pieces. It’s never too late to start making right decisions even if you have made a thousand wrong decisions.

Getting pregnant before marriage is a mistake, but that is in the past and it cannot be changed. The present is the only thing that you can control. Ending the life of the person inside of you only adds a mistake to the one you already made. Choosing to parent or choosing adoption are good choices. Even if you made the mistake of having an abortion, it is never too late to start over and decide to wait to have sex until you are married. No matter what you have done there is always an opportunity to do right.

It is never too late to decide that you will remain faithful to your future husband even though you have messed up. So many people, after losing their virginity or having it taken from them feel that there is no longer any point in saving themselves for marriage. This is just a lie. There is always time to save yourself (even if you are engaged). You can make the decision to wait no matter how many people you have had sex with.

Take the spotlight off your past mistakes. Focus on what you can do right now to begin to make positive choices. You can’t live in the past, you must live in the now, but the future has yet to be lived.

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Comments (18)

We must learn from our mistakes
written by nmkhawane , August 29, 2011

My advice to all women who said they made mistakes is that now you must learn from it. I made a mistake too by falling pregnant twice and the second time had an abortion, but by God's grace I through the confession of sins I was forgiven and learnt from my mistake. The best way ladies is to ABSTAIN. You can't play with fire and expect not to be burnt; or play with a dangerous snake, hoping it won't bite you. Meaning you can't have sex, if you don't want to fall pregnant. If your goal is to have children when you are married, then wait for the right man in purity. It is possible with the Lord, He can keep you. Lives of innocent babies are taken because of our mistakes, and we are one day going to stand before the Judgment Throne if we don't repent from it. So let's us be "Stand up Girls" by saying "NO" to sex and not to abortion.

...
written by bearhug , July 21, 2011

my mother told me before that through my mistake or failure it makes me a better person,I told her why? she just smiled at me and said, you will understand it someday. She's correct there's a lot of mistakes and failures that came in to my life it make me strong and a better person. Why? Because from all those mistakes i committed i learned from it,so every failures that i had in my life i askes my why it happened to me until i found the answers and i always make it sure that if i encountered again the same situation i already what to do to avoid commit mistakes that i did before..

I am desperate.
written by Kilakili , July 20, 2011

I feel like a monster! I have cheated on my boyfriend! I don't know what happened to me that made me do such a thing. I was the kind of person that would never stand cheating. I feel like I was possesed by something when I did it, but I feel terrible and all I want is to die crying my eyes out. The worst part is that I think I am pregnant. I took the plan B pill almost 2 hours after this guy came inside of me. I am so desperate to know whether I am pregnant or not. I have asked Jesus for forgiveness from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot have a baby with this man. I love my boyfriend to pieces and I hate myself for what I did to him. I need advice or somethign that can help me with this emotional wreck.

Great story
written by Outoftrack , July 13, 2011

Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful story,i can't stop the fact of forwarding this story to my family nad friends.

nice topic....
written by gie18 , June 18, 2011

thanks for this article. ..i just made a big mistake in my whole life recently.... and this article made an impact on me since i lost my confidence to trust another guy who would be my future husband that someone who can trully love and accept me who i am...

thanks
written by Breeze , March 26, 2011

im so thankful for what u wrote. it continues 2 b a blessing 2 many b/c its so true. none of us are perfect. i tried so hard 2 b perfect feel perfect and have the perfect life but it continues 2 b more of a road block than a help. im learning non judgment & humility @ present. im learning b conent as long as i feel that my heart is n the right place. thanks again girl!

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written by ntokozo , March 01, 2011

i dont believe in making mistakes.i rather say we get carried away or maybe we get too tempted to try something new.we get ourselves into practises that we know exactly,that we know of their consequencesbut we get to be too high to think of tommorrow.i believe that we can say it is a mistake on the first time but not on the second time.we olso need to think of issues like pregnancy and hiv before we engage into eating an unwrapped sweet.or else we must eat it with its wrapping paper

thanks
written by jessiexx2 , August 16, 2010

That was awesome. I know God has forgiving me and I am saving myself for my husband..I may have a made a mistake but I aint making no more. Thank God for His saving grace

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written by little4ever_13 , July 13, 2010

thank you!

thanx
written by selina , June 30, 2010

Hi
thanks for this article because I made the biggest of all blunders last year and I keep carrying it on ma back.I dont have the courage to let go though I know God has forgiven me and it is I to forgive myself though it is tough ,
Thank you for the article it has made a difference in me

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written by Shekay , April 17, 2010

thank you so much.. so inspiring. its true that I made Mistakes, Errors, Blunders in my life but its never too late to make a right decisions.

i'm really touched to your article, while reading it i agree with you. everything you said its really true and reality in life that we need to face. it helped me to ease the pain that im going thru right now.

thank you..

The biggest mistake in my life!
written by yanny , January 22, 2010

Wendy,

Thanks a lot. Your really help me a lot. I read your column and you amused me...really!
I had this kind of problem now that makes me confused on what to do with this. Since it convince me too much enough to decide to go for it; I'll do it. it might be a mistake in doing this kind of serious thing i mean the word abortion.
I had sex with the one whom i don't love at all. Its like this, he took advantage of me and things did happen unexpectedly. the guy knows already that i am pregnant however when he knew it things like weren't happen i mean NO comment or something like that.
Now that i had made this decision final its enough for me to do the same thing. People might think that this kind of situation is simple nor they will say that so be it but not me.
I will do this for a change and store it into my mind that no guys are allowed to do that again to me; as in never ever.

Wish me luck!
God bless you!

Nice inspiration
written by AngeLolaLuv , December 15, 2009

Oh what an inspirational article! Mistakes, blunders, errors, not married/out of wedlock, mistakes!

I have no children, but on behalf of the rest of the young ladies here, thank you for these words of inspiration, to whomever wrote this article!

deerhaj says...
written by deerhaj , November 19, 2009

wow!!!thanx for writting about mistakes,errors,blunders.found out like two months ago that i was pregnant even though my goal was to wait untill i was married and this has been a really tough time for me since my boyfriend is quiet and i dont have support from the people i thought cared for me and i kinda understand because i disappointed them and let them down, they had alot of expectations from me....and especially since i was in ministry and i felt i had let sooo many people down and i let all that came to my head bring me down...i'm trying to get out of all this now it's been almost a week now that i've been trying to remain positive and not let the past bring me down..thanx for your note again, it has helped...

naledi says...
written by naledi , September 20, 2009

It is so true that you can never satisfy other people and that your only duty is to do right by Yourself and your Creator. Having the wrong information about yourself is damaging, especially when it is mixed with the guilts of having not met other people's expectations. When in doubt the only thing that will work for you is faith, and there is only one recipient of faith and only one Creator of your destiny. My on-and-off boyfriend and I have been having unprotected sex eversince we met. We've made a vow to always stay together and we regularly take HIV tests to check if we are still ok. I fell pregnant over 2 months ago and I had an abortion without telling him. I felt so empty inside even if something at the back of my head was telling me that I at least had a chance at a better life with no baby distraction. But, it broke his heart when he found out and I have been remorseful eversince. Our relationship isn't what it was and he has been distant. We later gave it another shot and even though it's hard I'm glad I had enough faith to pull us back together. Please don't live with guilt, or fear. Always trust in yourself and visualize your dreams!!

miaron says...
written by miaron , August 24, 2009

i feel you.im almost four months pregnant with my first baby and im only 19.i knew exactly what i was doing when i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and the products of that are quiet evident.my grandparents know but other family members who have invested their all in me dont know yet.i want to tell them but my grandmother has temporarily forbidden me from doing so.i kinda kknow how they will react and even though im afraid they will loose their trust in me, i believe i made the right choice by keeping my baby and not aborting it to please others.what happens next i shall soon find out.i have a great support system at home and my man is there for me all the way. i aim on doing my third and last year of tertiary next year after birth and everyone that knows about my pregnancy is supportive of my decision.after graduation i can soon wor and earn a living for me and my baby and sooner or later all will be foegotten.so its true, i will not allow this mistae to define me coz i know i can make it.

Khaya N says...
written by Khaya N , August 18, 2009

This is but a simple piece but it has brought tears to my eyes as I am guilty of Mistakes, Errors, Blunders. This is truly inspirational. Thank you for the wise words.

victim says...
written by victim , August 10, 2009

I have the word mistake tattooed on my back. I have made a million mistakes and i keep hanging on to them never letting them go. Telling myself how im the only one stupid enough to do such things. I feel alone as though no one understands me. Im tired of being misjudged for my wrong doings. I am not going to speak positive about my problems, I refuse to continue to put myself down i dont deserve it im too smart and too kind hearted to torment myself everybody else too. I will not torment myself anymore. Whats done is done I cannot change it only thing i can do is move on and learn from it.
Im glad i read MISTAKES,ERRORS, BLUNDERS...

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