School and a Baby!
Dear Becky-
I am a junior in high school, popular, cheerleader. I live with my mom and she has always supported me in everything I do. My dad on the other hand, just married his 6th wife and, as usual, his children get booted out and the new wife and her family will move in. My father and I have just recently become closer and I know he wouldn't be okay with the fact that I am 17 and pregnant. yesterday I went to the doctors for concussion symptoms from a cheer leading event, and she takes me into the other room and gives me the news..we told my mom and she is 100% supportive.
She wants me to have an abortion and I thought I did too, and I know that is what my boyfriend of 3 years wants too. I just don't know now. I am in my 9th week, and out of curiosity I read about that point in a pregnancy and how the baby has elbows and bones are forming etc and it is killing me to know that in a few weeks time I may kill what I have created. granted I would never intentionally bring a child into this world knowing I couldn't take care of s/he and give them the best life possible, it's just not the right time but I don't know how to cope with aborting this baby. Please do you have any supporting information or guidance for me? ANYTHING will help. Thank you so much, Monica.
Dear Monica, If your mom is truly 100% supportive then she will support you in your pursuits to parent your child....It may not happen right away, she may be very angry with you and do and say all she can to get you to have an abortion but it IS your choice right? If you want to choose life for your child then she cannot LEGALLY stop you....You are still a minor so she also cannot LEGALLY withhold provisional needs from you either....No threats like, if you don't abort I will not pay for you to go to the dentist etc...things like that....As your parent she is OBLIGATED to provide your needs....She cannot force you into an abortion, she can drag you to a clinic kicking and screaming but they cannot TOUCH you or MAKE you do ANYTHING without YOUR approval....Many girls do not know this and they go through with the abortion just to make everyone else happy and it slowly kills them inside for the rest of their lives....I do not want that for you....Just give this time, make your decision, Stand Up for the life of YOUR child and press on for the most important journey yet in life! Here is a great resource that can help you with local help, http://www.optionline.org/ , enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help....I know you can make it through this with or without the support of your mom, dad or bf....Many girls have done it before and in most situations, the mom WILL come around in the end and be the most proud and excited grandma ever! It won't be easy but that is just life, we all have ups and downs and when we run from things that are consequences for our own actions, it just buries our problems and we never solve them! Embrace your child and learn from this situation and go on to better yourself as you love your baby! Much Love...Becky
Dear Becky-
Thank you soooo sooo much! This is so helpful to me, I went through the first day of not wanting a baby, the next day was would it really be a bad thing? and now I am just about sure that this is what god some way some how had planned for me ... it is already killing me inside to even think of killing something so precious that so many people pray all their lives for, and I know this is my opportunity. Thank you again Becky, you've helped me more than you may know!
Dear Monica-
So is this a YES you are going to Stand Up and be a Mommy? I am so proud of you....Like I said, this is not going to be easy, its not like a fairy tale but you are right, Somewhere in the mix of things this is Gods plan for you....Maybe He would have wanted to bless you with this child later down the road in His perfect will for you but like me, you took your life into your own hands and made decisions that brought a baby a little sooner and I call that God's permissive will....it was not His first plan for you but He also promises to work it all together for good and I promise you that He has done just that for me! The most important thing I learned and still practice to this day is that if I make a mistake or do something wrong...if I do my best to do the right thing after the fact God will step in and help me...Two wrongs don't make a right. You take this first step of faith and God WILL move! I am here to help you along the way and I hope you will keep me informed....You should really visit that pregnancy center and have them help you write up a plan for the next several months, maybe showing your mom on paper, all the things you plan to do in spite of your circumstances will help change her perspective as well....Much Love...Becky
Dear Becky-
I agree completely , and I spoke to her about all of this and, yes I am going to be a mommy! We both agreed no one negative will be in my child's life, or mine. Anyone who doesn't want to be around is not needed, I truly believe everything will work out for the best...and I will keep you updated most definitely. There is a organization, a school actually that my mom thinks I should look into for senior year called, Project Teach, where I will be able to bring my baby with me everyday and there is day care while I have classes and I will also have classes everyday on parenting along with my baby, have you heard of this? I think it could be really great..anyways thank you so much for being here for me and I'll keep you updated every step of the way!
Oh Monica, I am so happy!!! I am so glad for you that your mom is going to be by your side through this and Project Teach sounds like a great opportunity! I have heard of many schools with daycare's, I think different states, towns, cities etc. each have their own programs, but I have no doubt that you will do well and that your positive outlook will help you stay on track!!! So do you know when your due date is? Love- Becky
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written by letti-love , April 19, 2012
im 21 and had an abortion a month ago cos my bf of two years explained how we arent ready to become parents but i hate myself for it more each day. i cry when i see my nephew and what a joy he is and i feel like i just want to have a baby soon when i see pregnant women and how much joy you feel when you feel the toss and turns of your baby inside of you. my bf has always been the most supportive guy that i have ever known cos he always stood by me through the worst times in my life but when he found out that i was pregnant he told me about aborting and then i had to go get it done all on my own and then it was never spoken of again and if it does come up, he makes it as if its nothing.
i wish i never listened to him but i do love him and i know he was right because we arent ready to be parents but that has never and will never ever take away the pain away of my actions, the things that i will mmiss in my childs life and the fact that my baby never got a chance because i was too selfish to try.
keep your baby or you will regret it for the rest of your life each and everyday when you think of what it might have been like if you did have your baby.
all the best to you and your baby.
written by Poppy Daisy , April 18, 2012
I have never commented on a site about this. In fact, I've never told anyone what I did. I had an abortion 40 years ago when I was 15 years old. I have suffered every day of my life since then because of what I did. I did it because I was afraid of my father and just terrified in general. I wanted to avoid consequences so I took what I thought was the easy way out. It was not the easy way out. It has ruined my life. It is the only real regret that I have. My boyfriend and I went to "professionals" and made the decision out of fear and ignorance. I married my boyfriend later. We have been married for 37 years and have 3 other children. Doesn't matter. It was an awful thing that I did and I would give anything to take it back. I can't. You have been granted custody of the precious, precious child inside of you. It is your job is to take care of this little one. Do yourself a favor, do your baby a favor, do your family a favor (even though they might not see it now), do all those who will encounter your baby in the future a favor and hang tough, be strong, and let him/her grow and blossom. You will never regret it if you do. I can't take back what I did. I can only hope that you, or someone else reading this, will learn from my mistake. It's the only hope I have that what I did might not be completely in vain. I wish I had know that it really was a baby. It was not just about ME. I wish I had had some help, some guidance, someone to talk to like this forum. I wish people considering an abortion would look at their baby on an ultrasound, would watch an actual abortion on Youtube, would really consider what it means to end a pregnancy. This is truly being informed. In fact, all who are pro-choice should do the same. Enough said.
written by Courtney wegford , April 17, 2012
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written by amber hornsby , February 28, 2012
written by Dr. Sunil Kamboj , February 27, 2012
You are lucky enough that you have a good supportive mother and a free environment in your country. I feel that you should respect the creature that wants to ooze out in this world.
written by olivia summers , February 25, 2012
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written by mohammed sikander , February 08, 2012
your is is positive you think so good i dont know your name but the thinking is good in my word your thinking is very pratical can you belive in the love
written by Gummyzzzzzzzz8907 , February 07, 2012
written by shy girl. , February 05, 2012
I always think of having one but my conscience always resist me because of the bad effects. I tried to tell him to wait for the right time, but he might get mad or even worse he loves me i like him.
written by kabali , February 03, 2012
There was a girl who got married and wanted to have a child, gods grace had a beautiful baby. Year later she got pregnant again. The Husband & wife did not want to have the second child, reason being she will not be able to take care / spare time for the child and that they will not be able to have fun while there are two kids. She went to a Gynecologist for aborting the baby quoting the same reason as not time / loosing fun etc. The Doctor told her to kill the 1st child so that she can take care of the new comer. This girl got terrified and shouted at the Doctor saying, you want to me to kill a one year old child and get behind the bar?????????
The Doctor replied killing the fetus and a 1 year baby is same.
Now you can decide what you want to do.
God bless you.
written by Maria Davis , January 23, 2012
My daughter is 15 and is a cheerleader like you, and she makes me proud every day. And she also makes me crazy mad sometimes.. But it is life, and I love her.
I was 25 when she was born, but I was not ready at all. I was going about pregnant, thinking deep in my mind, that this condition will just go away someday, and things will be back to normal. When I first saw her I panicked, thinking: who gave me a child to take care of? I do not really know how to take care of myself yet. But it all worked out, and it will for you too.
written by AJohnson , January 21, 2012
written by Miss Smith , January 20, 2012
Good Luck!
written by Michael Walbrugh , January 19, 2012
written by Janna Marie Sy , January 17, 2012
written by MiMi2 , January 17, 2012
written by pro-life 4ever , January 16, 2012
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written by Cindy Gomez , January 10, 2012
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written by jhaybarsoles , January 09, 2012
written by Nicole Hart , January 09, 2012
I got pregnant at the age of 16 and thought my life was over....after 3 months of going through the motions and feeling numb about my future, I started to awaken as I felt his movements and learn more about what was to come... 21 years later I look back on what I thought was the end of my life and realized THAT IT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING. It changed who I was and forced me to stop some of my destructive behaviors and focus on something much more precious "life" which is created before that baby ever reaches the womb. Hold out and you will see the miracle that has been placed before you. Yes it is hard and yes your life will change; but I promise it will not be a change you will ever regret. Don't make a life decision based on fear and keep faith, create convictions and stand on them, and put your very best into all that you do and you will see good things. I pray that you will make the best choice; if not you are and that child are still under the precious grace of God. My prayers are with you. Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body;all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
written by painfullysmiling , January 04, 2012
written by aziee , December 24, 2011
written by Kim4 , December 22, 2011
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written by Niomi Diaz , December 16, 2011
&& would you want to hurt a baby that is defenseless and cant tell you how much pain they go though, just remember its not the babys fault you created him/her so they shouldent be punished Abortion does not make you Un-Pregnant it makes you the mother of a dead baby so i hope you make the right disision and hopefully your mom will be behind you on this Thank you for commenting on this article post. Remember, if you have a personal question, writing a Dear Becky letter and or posting in the forums is the only way to ensure a fast and specific answer from one of our Stand Up Girls. Thank you!
"I so believe that it is incredibly important because I see a lot of my generation being ripped off in this area, really thrown a lie that you can do whatever feels good, just please yourself, and they are not talking about the consequences."
"Standup Girl:
