A Call, No Answer
Dear Becky,
I was looking up things on teenage pregnancies and I came across this very insiteful website. I am 18 and 2-days ago I took a pregnancy test that came up positive. When I found out so many thoughts rushed through my head. The first thing I wanted to do was call my boyfriend so I did. But he didnt answer. Thinking it over the next day I was glad that he didnt because I truly was not ready to tell him. So I confided in a best friend instead. Everything seemed okay and I was just thinking about a lot but I still hadn't told my boyfriend. I just wanted to make up my mind first to see what I was going to do before I told him.
But last night we got into an argument and I just told him that he made the decision a lot easier for me. He got really worried then and started to freak out. I ended up telling him. I always said that if I was to get pregnant I would own up to my actions and keep it but now that I'm in the situation I am extremely confused. I think of all what my family has done for me to go away to college and how disappointed and angry that they would be with me and that is whats pushing me to terminate the pregnancy.
But I also keep thinking about myself like and how I would feel if I was to actually go through with it. I guess I would just like someone who doesnt know me to give me insite because all of my friends and my boyfriend are confusing me. He doesnt know what to do but at the same time he doesnt realize that I've never been put into this situation so I dont know what to do either. Could you just give me a little advice please?
Ashley
Dearest Ashely - hi, my name is Lisa and I'm from the Stand Up Girl website. Can I share with you from the bottom of my heart?
You see, you and I are on a road called life. When we both came to a fork in the road, one road was called "Abortion" and the other "Life". I chose the road of abortion and you still stand at that fork in the road. I am able to come back to you from that road and say "Please don't take this road. Do you see that bend on the road ahead? There is nothing but sorrow, grief, pain, guilt and shame around that corner. There is a feeling of loss like no mothers heart can know and the reason that there is a bend in that road is because the ONLY way that you will ever understand it or know it is to walk it. Please ... that road will be the very same for you, so please take that road of life. Tell me what it is like. I so wish I could go down that road instead. But I cannot. It's too late for me and my babies. But it's not for you and your's."
OK - now that that is said, let me go down the road of your life a little bit. Trust me when I say that the choice of abortion is truly a tragic choice. Especially as you learn about the development of babies in the womb. You will NOT be able to get out of your head "What did my baby go through? What did my baby look like? What stage was my baby at when I aborted him/her?"
There are so many times when I just wish that I could hold my little baby in my arms. Just at least once. I wish that I could feel his breath in my hair or even to change my babies diaper and see my baby giggle. To see that little gumless smile and to touch my babies face.
I will never be able to do that. I will never hear "Mommy", I will never get to wake up in the middle of the night and go to look in at my beautiful little baby in his or her crib sleeping like an angel. I will never get to feel the movement of my baby in my womb - and ohh how I long to experience that.
All of this to say - please understand that you have that motherly instinct strong and alive in you right now. Do NOT allow yourself to be deceived into believing that you can just go on with your life as normal after abortion. The world of abortion is a world of shame and it is NOT talked about very openly. Ohhh everyone says it should be legal and it's OK - but how many girls do you hear talking - in passing saying "Oh yea, I had an abortion a couple of days ago. It was a pretty simple procedure."
You might hear a girl talking about getting a piercing or a tatt! But not an abortion. You know?
Why?
Because it is a painful, private and subject of shame. Especially those of us that have done it. So don't let an argument decide the fate of your flesh and blood. Your baby is just that Ashley - this is YOUR baby. Being angry and getting into a fight ... That's going to happen a bit more now that you are pregnant. Your body is going through some changes and I would say that as your body makes these changes you become a little more sensitive and tender hearted. So don't let have you make a decision you will regret for the rest of your life.
As for your parents - trust me when I tell you that this is their grandbaby. Yes they have done a lot for you. BUT just wait to see all they can do for a grandchild. Yes - they may get upset at first - but this baby is a part of you and they will NEVER EVER turn their backs on their first grandchild.
Right?
Please let me know how you are doing and what you decide. OK?
Luv Lisa
Hey Lisa,
Today I went to the doctor to get another pregnancy test and it came back positive once again. I've done a lot of thinking and I have decided that this is MY BABY and I will own up to that. So I'm keeping my baby. I can't even believe that abortion had even crossed my mind as long as it did. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom. You truly were a HUGE part of my decision. I don't even know you but I love you so much for encouraging me and telling me exactly what I needed to hear. I hope I have a boy! =)
Love, Ashley
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Comments
(13)
written by alyssa03 , July 22, 2011
I just want to say that I'm extremely proud of you. I'm seventeen, and I'm 8 months pregnant with a little boy. He has, already, given my life so much more meaning. Best of luck with your pregnancy! I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to 
written by Wachia , June 21, 2011
This has really moved me. I am 22 and 2 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend wants me to have an abortion. After reading reading this i have made up my mind. I am going to keep my baby
written by DBruta , May 18, 2011
Great choice. I hope everything goes great for you and your baby. God Bless!
written by After his heart , May 02, 2011
you saved a life ashley. What a brave girl you are! If your belly grows round its a girl and if its triangular kinda then its a boy..at least thats what i heard!! lol bless your decision
written by firdous , March 02, 2011
Hi!
Sorry to butt in with the coversations!
I just want to share a piece from me!
Ashley, you have made a great decision.
When I was at your situation, i opted an abortion.
They are absolutely right, but too late for me to undo my decisions but it's been done. It is true about the guilt, pain, shame etc.....I saw this site also just a few days ago..I was alone and friends and family around ready gave confusions on me...
I was so lucky on the other hand that my boyfriend was the one who gave me choices, KEEPING THE BABY OR ABORTION. I choose abortion and he supported me on it whether he liked my decision or not.
Good luck to you! Success will be sweeter when there is someone beside you, like your baby! Please push through your education while having a baby if you can afford it. It will be hard on you, but there is nothing easy in this life, we all have to take it easy...Education will help you in the future and your baby as well.
Sorry to butt in with the coversations!
I just want to share a piece from me!
Ashley, you have made a great decision.
When I was at your situation, i opted an abortion.
They are absolutely right, but too late for me to undo my decisions but it's been done. It is true about the guilt, pain, shame etc.....I saw this site also just a few days ago..I was alone and friends and family around ready gave confusions on me...
I was so lucky on the other hand that my boyfriend was the one who gave me choices, KEEPING THE BABY OR ABORTION. I choose abortion and he supported me on it whether he liked my decision or not.
Good luck to you! Success will be sweeter when there is someone beside you, like your baby! Please push through your education while having a baby if you can afford it. It will be hard on you, but there is nothing easy in this life, we all have to take it easy...Education will help you in the future and your baby as well.
written by Ham4Jesus , February 24, 2011
ASHLEY!!!! I'm so pleased to read that you're going to keep your baby. I like Lisa had an abortion when I was your exact age 18(5 years ago), right out of high school. Out of all the choices I've ever made, this one tore me the most. It was a secret I carried with me for about 4 years until I gave it to God and he forgave me, I forgave myself and the guy I didn't know(one main reason why I aborted my child). The other main reason was because I was consumed with what everyone else would think, how they would react and that I wasn't ready (when you're never gonna be ready for the gift of a child). Plus I was scared and panicked. I did tell one girl, but she happened to of had an abortion herself and only knew of that to be the answer. So I went and they gave no counseling or heart at all. I want to encourage you to not give up, you are so brave and strong and don't EVER let anyone tell you different, especially if they're never been in your shoes. Thank God, I serve a forgiving, passionate, loving, slow to anger God!
written by kim+keag+ky , February 24, 2011
dear ashley, hi my name is kimber and i jus wanted to say that you made the right choice being a mom is the best thing that could ever happen to anybody. i have one son and expecting another one in june and im only 17 fixin to be 18 next month. but my family has been here for me and supported me with everything i do. and im sure your family will do the same, a baby changes everything. but its all for the best!! good luck and congrats!
good luck and congrats! written by justmeandmalorie! , February 15, 2011
i am so glad to hear about your decison in keeping your baby. i was in your shoes 8 months ago. i did not know what i wanted to do, and with my family i just didnt want to disappoint them.
i told the babys father and he ran. so it has just been me, the baby, my family and friends taking this journey. it has bee very hard, but all worth it when i have her in 7 weeks.
you are right it is YOUR BABY and noone can ever change that. i know you will be an amazing mother, the way that you think out things and all the consequences.
i told the babys father and he ran. so it has just been me, the baby, my family and friends taking this journey. it has bee very hard, but all worth it when i have her in 7 weeks.
you are right it is YOUR BABY and noone can ever change that. i know you will be an amazing mother, the way that you think out things and all the consequences.
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"I so believe that it is incredibly important because I see a lot of my generation being ripped off in this area, really thrown a lie that you can do whatever feels good, just please yourself, and they are not talking about the consequences."
"Standup Girl:
