I Was On Depo

Letter Achives

Even though I was still in love with my boyfriend I started dating again. I was on depo provera birth control shots but I ended up pregnant again (birth control failed me 2 times.) I was so freaked out and shocked. And when I told my boy friend he broke up with me. I was so scared and depressed. I thought about keeping the baby but ...

Dear Becky,

How are you doing? I hope you're good. I thought I'd e-mail you and thank you for making StandUpGirl.com. It helped me thru a tough time.

I never even thought about aborting my first child, Baylee. I got pregnant when I was 14 and had her when I was 15. After I got over my depression and fears from my first pregnancy I felt like I was on top of the world. I had a great boy friend, and supportive friends and family (and of course, God.) I had a beautiful baby girl on January 23rd, 2000. She is a big part of me. We were doing fine. But that all changed when I moved to California away from my boy friend and friends. It shattered my heart into a million pieces. And it was so hard to break up with my boy friend.

Even though I was still in love with my boyfriend I started dating again. I was on depo provera birth control shots but I ended up pregnant again (birth control failed me 2 times.) I was so freaked out and shocked. And when I told my boy friend he broke up with me. I was so scared and depressed. I thought about keeping the baby but I thought, "Shit... Another kid? I can't have another baby right now." And besides my family and friends didn't support me enough this time. We were barely making it financially. It was either abortion or adoption. I thought about abortion first. It was painful but my friends and family (and StandUpGirl.com) helped me make the choice not to abort. I was so close to having an abortion. I felt things that I never thought I could feel over a pregnancy abortion choice (guilt, love, anger, depression, etc.)

I decided to give the baby up for adoption. My aunt (that I hate) wanted to take the baby. I didn't want to see the baby often but I wanted to make sure my baby was being taken care of. I found out that I was having a boy. I was thinking, "I'm going to give my first baby boy away." I was desparate as the months moved on to try to keep him. My aunt really didn't do anything about it. Nothing was signed or anything. I was already attached to my baby and I knew that I couldn't let him go.

I gained more confidence and self-esteem. I always said to myself, "You can do this Mya." Well I did! I started 2 jobs and started making enough money to keep him. I just had Evan on November 14th, 2002. He is precious. It's hard to think that I was going to take away his life just because I didn't think I could raise him. Adoption would have been better than abortion, but I'm glad I got to keep him.

One thing I've learned: even though it's hard, you can do it. Now I look at pregnancies as goals and blessings. Thank you Lord!
With love,

Mya


Mya | mya_jane38@hotmail.com

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Dear Mya,

Wow! Congratulations on your new little boy. I'm happy to hear that things are going well. I found that although things were really hard for me at times, God lifted me up and gave me the strength I needed. Having and raising a child is a challenge, but it also brings such indescribable joy and fulfillment. I am very happy that I was given the chance to experience the blessing of being a mother. I don't do things perfectly, but I trust that God will fill in the gaps where I'm lacking.


You and your family will be in my prayers.

Luv,

Becky | dearbecky@standupgirl.com