Making It Past Parent Shock
I wanted to tell you girls my story so that you know things can be okay if you are struggling to get through or make touch decisions.
I was 17 and at the very end of my senior year of high school when I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter. My boyfriend Nick and I had been dating for only about 5 months in March 2003 when I would have gotten pregnant, but I didn't find out I was actually pregnant until the end of May 2003.
I pretty much knew I was pregnant by the end of April 2003, but I refused to take a test until at least after prom was over with. I was scared to find out cause I thought the stress of what I was going to have to tell my parents was going to stop me from having fun that night.
Well, on my prom night I still hadn't taken the test but I didn't have to much funny anyways cause I was really sick with morning sickness and I couldn't stop feeling sick to my stomach. Well, the following week after prom I took the test and of course it came back positive just and I knew it would, but I still didn't want to tell my parents yet cause my graduation was a week away, but I couldn't hold it back anymore.
I ended up telling my parents the day before my high school graduation cause I was playing on my dad's softball team and he kept yelling at me week after week to slide and I wouldn't do it. He didn't know why so he just kept saying why are you slacking your a better ball player than that. And finally I couldn't do it anymore and I went home after the softball game and cleaned up and then I told my mom since my dad was not home yet. My mom just got really mad and started saying "I knew it, I knew" and crying. She kept asking "how could you do this after all the conversations we had about having sex and babies and after me telling you everything I went through having you so young." I couldn't help but break down and cry. I kept saying to my mom "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Then when I asked her to help us tell my dad cause I was so scared of my dad's reaction she tole me "NO! You can tell him yourself. You did this and now you need to be the one to tell him and explain yourself to him." I was so afraid to wait there for my dad and tell him, but I was so happy that Nick was there with me the whole time to tell my parents. We told my dad and he was so mad his fists and toes started to curl. He just asked me "how could you let this happen? didn't you use any protection? how could you do this?" and he even blamed Nick and one point for being one to get me pregnant. Like Nick was the only who had anything to do with it.
After that my dad couldn't even look at me for months or even hold a conversation with me. My mom tried to be nice but i could see it in her face and hear it in her voice that she was still so mad at me after months.
So, then in July 2003 I turned 18 and told Nick to find us an apartment cause I couldn't stay at home and be treated as if I was the worst person in the world according to my parents anymore. So, he found and apartment and we signed the lease. I had Nick take me home when my dad was at work and only my mom home because she was a home babysitter at the time and I put some of the most important stuff in a basket and called my mom up from the basement and told her I was moving out. She freaked and started yelling at me and even screaming and telling me I was a horrible child for doing this to her. She kept telling me if I did this and went through with it that I was never aloud to step foot on their property again, but I did it anyways. She ran outside after me yelling at Nick you did this to my daughter and you took her away from her loving family and now she will have nothing. But the truth is Nick never made me do anything I didn't want to do. Nick has always respected me.
Well, for a very long time probably about a year and a half or so my parents and I had lots of issues. These were very noticable problem during the hardest of times for Nick and I. My daughter Alyss was born December 2003 and my mom and dad were both there despite our differences and the fact that we weren't even getting along at the time, but the problems with my family just kept showing back up. After my daughter was born when she was month and a half old she became very ill and wouldn't eat and even wasn't having to many wet diapers. And we spent 3 days in the hospital with her while they ran tests. They found it was just brochitis which is a upper respitory infection that is most common in infants and young children. But during my daughter stay at the hospital my parents only came up there one time and only stayed for about 20 minutes. I thought things might have been getting a little better cause my mom even offered to buy me dinner since I hadn't eaten anything but crackers that day, but they weren't. It was about to fall about again before Nick and I could even take another breath.
We finally made it home from the hospital to find that my mother had left a horrible letter to Nick under our door. She called him a bad father and a horrible person basically for taking me out of their house and moving me into an apartment with him. And with me being able to do nothing since my mother offending the man I love with my whole life Nick called my mom and they had it out over the phone for about an hour. All I heard was yelling and name calling from both directions.
Neither of them could stand each other for the longest time. But finally after a very long time of fighting my parents to let them know I wasn't giving up and I was determined to raise my daughter and live my life the way I wanted to everything worked itself out. Nick and I did struggle a lot and in February 2005 we even ending up so bad that if Alyssa and I didn't go home to my parents and Nick to his then we would be living on the streets. So, we went home for about 8 months or so and that gave me the chance to work things out with my parents.
My mother and I are close again, but not as close as we use to be and I don't think that will ever happen. But my dad and I are closer than we have ever been before now. In October 2005 Nick and I got it together and moved back out on our own and this time with my parents support and approval. And we still struggle and have trouble sometimes paying some bills or fixing a car ever, but we now have learned by the age of 21 to handle and how to do that, but I still lean to my parents for a lot of advice because I am still so young and still learning so much. But we finally made it through the rough times and difference of opinion with my parents.
Now everything is wonderful with my family and my father just gave me away to Nick at our wedding on December 2, 2006. Things are still rough financially, but we will be strong and get through it.
I just want all you girls out there to know that you and your parents may not always agree, but it will work itself out. God, will never give you more than he thinks you can handle. Good luck with everything girls and if you need anyone to talk to or just to support you then I'm here for you. Send me an email if you need to talk, but please just title the subject as Stand Up Girl - (whatever your subject) so that I know not to delete any of your emails cause I would really like to help.
~Nicole
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I hope everything works out for u
do u have msn messenger because I find it very hard to talk to the girls on the chat on stand up girl.Any ways I would like to talk to u some more and hear your story and I will tell u mine ok. Thank you for commenting on this article post. Remember, if you have a personal question, writing a Dear Becky letter and or posting in the forums is the only way to ensure a fast and specific answer from one of our Stand Up Girls. Thank you!
