Leo is a month old tomorrow. My waters broke exactly a month ago today.  I should still be pregnant. My bump should be getting much bigger, and my baby boy should be inside my belly, but he isnt. Never imagined him actually coming that early. 16 weeks before my due date is a lot. I have never been so scared in my life. Still being my mums baby child makes it crazy that im worrying about my child. 

A lot has changed though:

What teenager ever thinks she would be a mother by the age of 17 let alone a mother of three by the time she was 21? A bet a lot of them don't. I know I didn't. At the age of 16, I became just another teenage statistic, a statistical momma. That was in 2001. Back then there were no TV shows of teenage pregnancy glamorizing the epidemic or even TV movies like "The Pregnancy Pact" to scare the thoughts of having babies out of young girls' minds. Those things didn't come along until I was 22 and two kids later. If I would have saw those shows back then, I would have definably gave sex a third and fourth thought .

I was young and naive. You never think it would happen to you. I am so tired of seeing these girls from 16 and Pregnant being thrown all around in the media and being paid major cash to be a statistical momma. I work hard for to take care of the babies I brought into this world and trust me when I say I have sacrificed everything for them. Is it fair that so many teenage parents are struggling and they get to be put on a pedestal for going through the "babymomma" and "babydaddy" drama. I don't think so. Why not try to help these teenage parents be all they can be and be role models for their children. Give them some counseling and some skills training, instead of teaching them to pose for a magazine cover. These are just some thoughts. We all know what sells. So can you expect anything more?

Its been over a year since my child's father left me, yet I know I'm still  not yet over him.He left when I was about  months along with my son Jayden, for his other gf who was also pregnant at the time.( I had NO idea about any of that). From day one I had to do it all on my own, taking Jayden to his appointments, buying him things on my limited budget on my own,everything. It pained me watching them together, him supporting her while I had to work, sometimes getting to school on a few hours of sleep. He wasn't there for Jayden's first words or steps. He wasnt there for the christening, wasn't there for his first birthday party. Yet why am I still feeling hurt? After all that he has and hasn't done for/to me, why does it still hurt? When I do see him out with his daughter he had with his gf, I cant help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Why did he pick her child over mine? What was wrong with me for him to have left me and be with her? So many questions. I hate that its been so long and I still think about him. Cant wait for these thoughts to go away.

december 1st i remember it so clearly my so very best friend marquise went with me because i was so scared to go by myself. i remember when we walked in and everyone thought we were couple and having baby. i remember playing around and acting like we were. he made me feel so comfortable and when it came time for us to go in and see the doctor, she also though he was the fathe runtil she saw the paperwork

I had just got back from a trip from vegas. I went for my birthday, to see my Godmother. I turned 17.  The trip was long and hot, and more so i was nausteated the whole while. which was new for me because i never get sick in the stomach. when i went to school that monday veryone began to notice changes, besides the nausea, i was sleeping and wasnt my full energetic self. And one of my teachers