Leo is a month old tomorrow. My waters broke exactly a month ago today.  I should still be pregnant. My bump should be getting much bigger, and my baby boy should be inside my belly, but he isnt. Never imagined him actually coming that early. 16 weeks before my due date is a lot. I have never been so scared in my life. Still being my mums baby child makes it crazy that im worrying about my child. 

A lot has changed though:

Im currently 17 weeks 4 days! I know im only 15...so young, but i really do love my unborn baby boy! He's everything to me. Im so happy about this pregnancy, im not sad and miserable...im proud of this. Im strong and im willing to do this on my own if i have to! If my son's father doesnt grow up, he wont have anything to do with his child, my baby will just be MY son! 

I couldnt be happier at school, i have so many great friends, the teachers are fab, and well my mum couldnt be better! She's so strong, for me. She's the main reason im still smiling. I know im going to be an amazing mummy, because my little man comes before everything now, he will always be my main priority. I dont understand why a man wouldnt want to know their child, its crazy. If i ever lost my baby id search for him until the day i died. 

What teenager ever thinks she would be a mother by the age of 17 let alone a mother of three by the time she was 21? A bet a lot of them don't. I know I didn't. At the age of 16, I became just another teenage statistic, a statistical momma. That was in 2001. Back then there were no TV shows of teenage pregnancy glamorizing the epidemic or even TV movies like "The Pregnancy Pact" to scare the thoughts of having babies out of young girls' minds. Those things didn't come along until I was 22 and two kids later. If I would have saw those shows back then, I would have definably gave sex a third and fourth thought .

I was young and naive. You never think it would happen to you. I am so tired of seeing these girls from 16 and Pregnant being thrown all around in the media and being paid major cash to be a statistical momma. I work hard for to take care of the babies I brought into this world and trust me when I say I have sacrificed everything for them. Is it fair that so many teenage parents are struggling and they get to be put on a pedestal for going through the "babymomma" and "babydaddy" drama. I don't think so. Why not try to help these teenage parents be all they can be and be role models for their children. Give them some counseling and some skills training, instead of teaching them to pose for a magazine cover. These are just some thoughts. We all know what sells. So can you expect anything more?

i miss you really bad... when i read stories i never knew the extensity of that frase

 today you should be 2 months and i should be verry happy, im verry proud of you. I always remember the time that we had together i remember each day, each little thing i had with you, when you were inside me was amazing i only wanted to meet you, to see your little face, to hold you, i wanted&

december 1st i remember it so clearly my so very best friend marquise went with me because i was so scared to go by myself. i remember when we walked in and everyone thought we were couple and having baby. i remember playing around and acting like we were. he made me feel so comfortable and when it came time for us to go in and see the doctor, she also though he was the fathe runtil she saw the paperwork

talk about a 360! i have been saying fast in my faith and praying enough for my baby's heart and mine combined. My boyfriend has really come around ; ) he rubs my belly every now and again and communicates with me about as much as he can. He has made a significant change . I agreed to marry him and I think that has alot to do with it. I still struggle with the periodic baby blues now and again

I was a Junior in college when I found out I was pregnant -- just over 20 years old, with my entire future ahead of me.  I had been seeing the father of my baby for almost 3 years.  I was very deeply in love with him and at one time I thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together.  But our relationship had always been tumultuous.  He was emotionally unstable and

if i could only see your face baby i would rest a while

if i could only see your gummy toothless smile

if i could only hold you while your tears fall

and you wail with a deafening call

if i could only be your mother one more time

 

if i could only wipe your face when you have face paint made of food

if i could only teach you how to tell the bad from

Goodbye my beautiful baby.

I only knew you for a very short time, but already I loved you. Im sorry I was not good enough for you, Im sorry You had to die. Im sorry God took your from me so soon. When I die please forgive me and walk with me in heaven. I am so sorry, my unborn child. I dont know how but I miscarried you. I guess God had other plans for us.


I

I used to think the most horrible thing a woman could go through was when someone she loved left her, but now I know that it's when she looses something that grows inside of her, a tiny little thing that she created- dies. Especially if it happens to her twice. I never thought I would be the pregnant girl I never thought any of that would ever happen to me, worse yet I didn't even know when it was happening.

 

There I was 14, sad and alone. That night my boyfriend had just broken up with me, I had found out