Dear General Public.

So, My name is Ashley (as if that wasn't totally obvious...). I'm 16 years old, and currently attending grade 11 in a tiny high school in Canada. (Ay? ;] ) As of today, my monthly "blessing" was supposed to visit me about a week ago. Yesterday, I woke up feeling extremely sick and dizzy. So today, I made the distant drive to Rocky Mountain House, Alberta and bought myself a couple pregnancy tests. Well! As if the obvious wasn't happening, 2 tests, and 4 pink lines later, I was making the phone call to my best friend Jordan in a complete panic. She met me at the hospital (all of the clinics were closed by this time) and we made an appointment to see a doctor! Yay? Two hours, one cup of pee and a nurse stabbing me in the arm to steal my blood later, the doctor knocked on my door. He came in, and immediately handed me a booklet explaining about abortion. He basically explained to Jord and I, that abortion is the answer, and it will solve all of our problems. We live in a tiny town, in southern Alberta. There's seriously like 200 kids in our school. My pregnancy would be the first in like the last... Gazillion years. Being a small school, everyone would know, and everyone would judge me. We all know this too well. I've dreamed of being a teacher since I was like... Little. If I have this baby, it's going to change everything, and make pursuing my dreams a lot more difficult. So of course, abortion is at the top of my list at the moment. My doctor directed me to StandUpGirl to read testimonials from other teenage girls and how they dealt with their abortions. After reading them, I'm finding myself quite scared. I really don't want to go ahead with this if it's going to make me depressed for the rest of my life... But I really have to think about my future, and how it's going to effect me. Right now, 5 weeks in, I'm feeling nauseated all the time, I'm eating a ton and I'm constantly tired. I can imagine in like 6 months, when finals are about to roll around the corner, it'll probably be like 50 times worse. I'm honestly at a loss of what to do. Abortion is seeming like the right decision, but so many people seem so depressed after the initial procedure, and regret it for such a long time. Plus at 5 weeks, I know that my baby is already developing it's eyes, it's ears, and it's respiratory system... I feel like if I go through with this, I'm going to be murdering an innocent human being.