I've just realized that I've been on this site for quite some time now, since November 2010. So I thought that it was finally time for me to do some explaining about why I joined the site that year.
So hello lovely people! Girls, guys, aliens and everything and anyone in between. I'm Kendel and I'm seventeen, almost eighteen. I'm literally counting down the weeks and when the time gets closer, days, until it's finally my birthday! It's just a little less than ten weeks away now :')

I joined this site back in 2010 because I had a hunch that I was pregnant and I was freaking out. I was only sixteen and I was very, very new to the whole world of sex and 'grown up' stuff like that. I had lost my virginity to a friend and a week later I had found myself in a different guy's bed. I was in the typical 'screw-the-world' phase that everyone goes through. I was partying hard, drinking a lot and smoking anything that I was offered. I was going off the rails. Add a possible baby on top of that and I was losing my mind.

I told myself not to panic because I wasn't late yet. I was probably just thinking about being pregnant so much that I was tricking myself into thinking it was true. Two weeks slid by painfully slowly and then I was due for my period. It didn't come. I let two more days pass then four then six and it still hadn't arrived. Scared, I went down to the chemist to buy a pregnancy test and I biked like a mad woman all the way home. I took the test and I was surprised when I saw only one line show up. Not pregnant. Huh, that's odd. I thought. I let two more days slide by then four. I let a whole week go past until I took another test. This time I got the result I had been expecting; the two lines, even though one was much fainter than the other. It was still obvious, I was pregnant.

Blind panic and fear set in fast; super fast. Speed of light fast. I was pregnant to someone who I barely knew. I was sober when I had sex but I had never thought it could happen to me. I never thought it would happen to me. I didn't even know the guy's last name, I still don't know it. I only had one name to go by - Shaun and he didn't exactly live close to me. My friends had told me that if I was pregnant that I should get an abortion but the second I found out that I was pregnant I wanted to keep him or her. The baby would be mine and I was excited. Was being the keyword in that sentence.

A couple of days after I found out that I was pregnant I started having cramping in the morning but I thought nothing of it. I had read somewhere that mild cramping was considered to be normal by a lot of people. It wasn't as bad as normal period cramps would be so I just lay down on the couch and tried to ignore it. I couldn't. As the day went on they got steadily worse until I couldn't bear it anymore. The word miscarriage flashed through my mind and at that moment I knew that it was happening to me. Ironically, it was on Thanksgiving. Although I still have a lot to be thankful for today I hate that day.

It's been almost fifteen months since that happened but I can remember it like it was yesterday. It's not something I'm ever going to forget. That was the day that my baby was ripped away from me. Not one day goes by that I don't think of my angel baby and how different my life would have been if he or she had been born. I would do absolutely anything to get my baby back.

I'm still here because I met so many wonderful people and they've helped me in so many different ways. All of you have. So thank you, so, so much. All of you are absolutely wonderful, amazing people who deserve to get whatever you want in life.