its 11:55 pm and im just on this website because i don't know were eles to go. I keep writing blogs. none of my freinds know what im going through. I just finished writing a blog maybe 4 hours ago and now im writing another one. I was just thinking about soo many things. Ive been doing so much thinking that im starting to queston many things. I wrote my baby a letter in a blog here and i was happy. I am happy. But i don't know. Im confused. I live in a hard of los angles to be pregnant. I live in a nice neighboor hood were everything is well taken care of and i have a lot of friends and my parents have a lot of friends. But with having friends leaves gossip. I still havn't told my parents but i've been hearing people talk bout me and saying how much weight i gained. Im sitting in my bed thinking. Like i said a million times. IVe been thinking.

1) how can i have a child if i sometimes can't even take care of myself

2)If i do adoption could that be a good idea. But when i thinking bout adopting, im just imaging bout it and i don't think  i could really do it. And i can't do it and the baby isn't even born yet. 

3)am i being selfish for not putting my little angel in good hands. But how do i know that their really in good hands. What if im a better mother then the adopted parents. What if my daughter would be happier with me then the adopted parents

4)what is the best thing for me to do. Drop out of school and acculy raise my child. well i don't think so thinking bout it. I really don't want to be at school tho and i want to stay with my child but i know that i need schooling to. 

5)am i thinking too much? and I being too dramatic? 

God help me