what is it like at 15 ?

I lost my virginity at 13, it was definitely not what I expected, I had seen "dirty movies" and heard stories and I expected to feel the most amazing sensations and to be in sheer bliss, it was not that at all, some girls experience pain but I did not...however it was not a pleasant thing either I lost my virginity on my best friends twin brothers bedroom floor in a sleeping bag with his best friend...my friend was laying on the other side of the room keeping guard so we wouldn't get caught and her brother was laying in his bed flicking a lighter over and over again saying "fire fire" like from that show Beavis and Butt-head...it was NOT romantic, it felt robotic and rushed and I remember thinking "is this really what sex is like" it was bland and dull and he dumped me 20 minutes later for being "too clingy" I just wanted to hold his hand and feel close...now I know that others have had better first time experiences but it was not so hot for me...I spent years trying to figure out how to get better and be better and to make guys want me, the more I tried to use sex to bring a closeness in a relationship the worse my relationships got, what I have learned since being married and with that having sex with my husband for the first time on our wedding night is that it is not sex that makes a relationship better, more important and intimate it is the intimate, trusting, monogamous relationship that makes sex great...please take it from me, I have been on both sides now, being with my husband in a sexual relationship is far better and more fulfilling than any of the other relationships and it is because of the commitment, the trust and the safety I have in his companionship....the physical enjoyment of sex for a woman is far different than it is for a guy, it requires little to no effort to please him and much much more to physically please a woman, I am not going to say too much more about the physical aspects other than yes, there can be immense physical pleasure for the woman also but what I hope you wait to learn for yourself is that in the meantime the 20 minutes of HIS pleasure and the lack of pleasure for you is not worth all the risks and responsibilities that will be left on YOUR shoulders....wait, it is sooo worth it, trust me, I would know....Love Meg

I know what you mean . but it seems like nowadays it's so much harder to save yourself for marriage because of all the pressure.

i need advice please !

Hey,
My name is April and I help out with Stand Up Girl. I am 28 years old and I have not had sex. I am waiting until I get married. I want to be able to give my very best to my husband.

Waiting is not easy, but the older you get the easier it becomes. You might want to consider setting some ground rules for yourself like no kissing while laying down, no hands under the clothes, no touching bikini areas (either over your clothes or under), no spending the night at a boyfriends house, etc.

Once these boundaries are in place commit to following them. Unfortunately, I think pressure from society and from boyfriends is a major influencer in women losing their virginity. But being a Stand Up Girl means Standing Up to the peer pressure. Let people say or pressure you all they want, but you know that you are different than all of them. You respect your body and your future husband.

You will see that as you get older the peer pressure subsides. You become to know who you are as a person and are more confident in your self and more able to stand up to the pressure.

Saying no is good practice now for when you are married. After marriage you have to be faithful to that one person for the rest of your life; however, if you have lived your whole life having sex with who ever you want, you will find that is a hard habit to break.

Start practicing faithfulness to your future husband now. Commit to only have sex with whoever he may be. He will be one lucky man!

I lost mine at 15. Party, one of my ex best guy friends. probably the worst 6 minutes of my life. not because of the pain but when i thought about it afterwards i did want to save myself for the right guy. My right guy came bout 6 months later my junior year of high school. he was a virgin still. After 2 months of dating he lost it to me. Surprisly were still together. Even after a forced abortion, 1 deployment, a current deployment and long work days at his unit for the past 2 years. Army wife HOOAH!!!! Were now 20 and despite all that crap were still going strong. Hopefully it stays that way! all the movies you see about losing virginity is a load of fake romance to me personally. When you get the right person its absolutly amazing though.

Its hard to save yourself for marriage, its gets easier as you go though. Ive spent almost 2 of our 3 years together no sex because hes deployed or training. Its not exactly waiting for marriage but that long absence of sex is similar to it.