It sounds like you regret your first abortion. You are not alone. Most women do. And it sounds like your first abortion caused you some internal damage. Don't put yourself through that again. Don't make your life harder than you have to.
There are pregnancy resource centers all across the US that can help you with this. They can hold your hand through every step of your pregnancy and after you have your baby. You won't be alone. Everything there is free and they would LOVE to help you. It's their job!
To find the pregnancy resource center that is closest to you just go to
www.optionline.org, click on "Find a center" type in your zip code and a list of centers will appear. Just call one and tell them what you just said above. They will be so glad that you called.