Hello,

I tried to find any site possible to help me with my situation. I need total support and advice. To come across Stand Up Girl I am certainly amazed and thankful to see a site that helps girls any age with a situation of becoming a mother, working together and giving support to each other. Its a wonderful idea and I really need help now more than ever.



{readmore}I am 17 turning 18 next week. I should have gotten my period last Wednesday but it never showed. Its been a week today and still nothing. I had no cramps either up until this week but two weeks ago my nipples were extremely sensitive and still are. With my regular periods every 28 days usually. I always get cramps a week before and my lower back hurts and im bloated and my whole boob just aches. This made me terribly confused with my body lately because just my nipples hurt and now im getting slight cramps plus feeling bloated. I feel faint every once in awhile as well. My boyfriend is scared and really thinks I am. I honestly dont know what to do. This is very unexpected... Turning 18 for my birthday I was going to get my license and look for a car and start school at a community college this Summer. I have no job, and neither does my boyfriend. Im scared to disappoint my parents and not being able to come up with money as well. Not being able to care for myself how would I care for another person? My boyfriend and I really dont want to do abortion but it looks like we are going to have too. But we both agreed we would feel guilty and I honestly dont know if I can do it. Adoption I honestly cant think of my baby being out there some where with another family and me knowing my first born is not being cared for by his or hers real mother and father. I really would love to keep this baby. But I dont want to be a bad mother, I dont have the money and I dont want to be a bad daughter either. If anyone can help me with experiences and suggestions. I really would appreciate it.



Going to the health clinic this week to take a free test.


Sincerely,

Missy

Hey Missy, I know that you are scared right now and you have some valid reasons to be...what I want you to do though is take some deep breaths and a time out...first thing you need to do is take a test, first thing in the morning is the best time to take one, that is when they are most accurate, if you live in the US then Optionline is a great resource, call 1-800-395-HELP, they will give you the number and location to the closest pregnancy resource center to you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test...you mentioned that you can't imagine your baby being out there with another family, can you imagine the empty, lonely, guilty feeling of abortion weighing in your mind for the rest of your life? There are many forms of adoption and I know people who have both adopted or placed their children through open adoption, you will get pictures and sometimes you get to visit your children in person, it is like placing your child with another family and being able to be involved with them at the same time...not having a job and being in an unstable relationship was the driving factor that made me consider abortion with my first child, thankfully I pressed on and kept her despite the break up and fear, she is now 7 and I have a wonderful family and I am even married now after being a single mom for 4 1/2 years, if I can do it YOU CAN TOO!! This is a hard thing to face but you really need to find out before you panic yourself any further, just know that if it turns out that you have a little blue plus sign that you are not alone and that life doesn't end with unplanned pregnancy, for me that is where my life found purpose and really began!! I am here for you..Love Meg

Darling, listen to Meg!

i just want you to hear my story to see if it changes your mind at all..

I fell pregnant 2 months before my 16th. i had only been with my boyfriend 6 months- however he stuck by me and we were over the moon. however when i told my mum she forced me into an abortion.

its been 10 months since. a big number of people believe i am depressed. I dont go out, i cry myself to sleep everynight, i have nightmares, im extremely surprised my boyfriend is still with me, ive lost my sex drive, i pushed myself away from my friends, i hate my mum and we rarely talk, i think about my baby every second of the day without fail!
It has ruined my life, mentally, emotionally in every way you can think off.

you said your self you cant imagine your first baby being with another family- what about your first baby being aborted- thats along the same lines- either way you wont know your child.

talk to alot of the girls on here- they have been in a simuiliar situation and are brillant mums!

think about what i have said please darling.

take care,
and feel free to talk to me if you want to know more at anytime.

Bernardette x

hi missy

aww sweetie *hugs*

i agree with meg & bernardette,
i had a abortion 10 months ago because my mum & dad forced it onto me, i was only 15. im now 12 weeks pregnant im 16 now and me and my boyfriend ollie are keeping this baby no matter what.- i do the exsact same as bernardette.

after abortion you feel AWFULL- honest trust me you really do feel so guilty and low and upset and its so so so hard to ever move on, i havt and neither has my boyfriend. and we both regret what happend every single day

so please hunnie find the confidence in you and your boyfriend and your baby and keep the baby, you have a real life chield thats yours and no-one or anything can replace that and abortion is the worst thing i have had to ever go thru

hunnie good luck

im hear for you if you ever want to talk

love & hugs gabby xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Missy.. good luck and I'm hoping you are ok. I just want to tell you to stay strong. I regret my abortion and nothing can make it right now. I can tell you that my cousin is an adoptive mom and she has a 4 year old and they see the tummy mommy (the baby's mum) like every other month. She has come to all her birthday parties and she's sort of part of the family. It can be ok. If I got pregnant again and I wasn't ready to take care of the baby I'd totally consider open adoption.

Stay strong.. its possible you're not even pregnant.

Hugs...

Debra