Hi everyone i am 27 years of age i already have a little boy who is 4 my recently ex girlfriend has just fallen pregnant and she doesn't know what to do?

She say's that i am a nice guy and know i would do the right thing by her and the baby but she has this image in her head of meeting the love of her life ,getting married then having kids. She say's that half of her family don't like me but i don't care. She want's to pursue her career in science , i said that she could and i would look after the child. I really want this baby and i know the baby will have 2 parent's who will be very good for the child.
She has had one late abortion before and she still thinks of that all the time.She believes that God is punishing her for her last abortion. She has told me that she even tried to drown herself on one occation.

I feel so sorry for her but what ever i say to make her try and feel better does not work. I don't want her to have an abortion then kill herself after all i do still love her very much. She hasn't got any friends to talk to (female friends) So she feels all alone. I just don't know what to do could someone please help with some suggestions.

hey...

Ya know im not 27 yrs old, but i do feel alot like ur ex girl...I just think that you should just be by her side and help her im whatever, talk to her let her know that youll alwayz be there let her tell you what she feels what she really wants to do and just make her feel special...ya know? I dont know how your with her but i know that when i feel like dat i just need someone to talk to to listen to me and just be there...well look i hope whatever you do things work out for you...

DiMpleZZ

Hi, I don't really know to much about what a guy should do in that situation. But I do know one thing. God isn't punishing her for having an abortion. Infact, He isn't even mad at her. He was crying for her when she made that choice and will forgive her for it. Has she gotten any post abortion counceling? I know that that has helped me out alot. You two should try to find a good Christian councelor and see if they can help her through the greiving process. And as for the education situation, I think that that is great that you have offered to watch the kids. That takes a good man to do that. And as for trying to help her, don't tell her that you understand what she is going through, because every person grieves loss differently. But, try to be comforting and just listen to what she has to say, be her shoulder to cry on. Be supportive and loving and most of all keep praying.

Hope that this helps you both our.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Britnie <br><br>Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/05/02 00:44

Scotty,

You said that this is your recently ex-girlfriend. Perhaps it is none of my business but I was curious as to why you broke up? Did the pregnancy contribute to the break-up? Did you break up before or after you found out about the pregnancy? You said that she has had an abortion in the past - were you involved as the father in that pregnancy?

I would be there for her as much as possible and reinforce to her that you do care about her well being and you do care about this child and want to be a part of its life - both emotionally and financially.

It sounds like she is really struggling emotionally from her past abortion. Encourage her to seek out counseling from a group like project rachel or other post abortion support and counseling. If she does not feel like she is ready for parenthood yet then she should consider adoption as a good alternative.

Having another abortion will likely only add to the hurt and pain that it sounds like hse is already dealing with. It is too bad that fathers do not have more power to speak up in making life affirming decisions about their unborn children.


Too often we hear stories where the boyfriend advises for abortion and push their girlfriends into having abortion. I am glad that you want to give life to this child. If she is your ex now it may be more difficult to persuade her, but be supportive and encouraging.

Kate

Hey scotty!

I would like to congrate you on this major step that you took: realising that your lady needs help, and also realising that maybe you do not feel equiped enough to give her the essential advice that she so desperately needs now.
It just goes to show how much you care and how deeply this lady is loved by you.

The only thing I can recommend now, is that you tell her about this website, and let her subscribe and visit the chatrooms. Just knowing and being aware of other people, from all over, being in your exact shoes, or worse, can make the worlds difference in how you perceive and deal with your situation.

Good luck......

im only 16 but im 5 months pregnant. i have some advice. one of the things you can do is print out some of the articles of girls on here who regret abortion everyday. i bawled my eyes out to some of the columns. Another thing you can do is go to a pregnancy counsiler. They will talk to you and help you through it. I dont have any female or male friends anymore due to my pregnancy. I have no one to talk to. She could get an account on www.clubmom.com. its a whole bunch of expectent mothers and mothers who talk about their problems. and babycenter.com has a lot of information also. All you can do is tell her its going to be ok and comfort her. thats what she needs right now is comfort. i hope i helped. if you need anything my email is This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it


-liss