Hi there, I posted my story on the other message bd and recieved some wonderful advice. I am still questioning what road to take and must make a decision soon. So my question is this: How do you reconcile your heart and your head? I think i'm only about 3-4 weeks along but am not sure as I had been bleeding irratically for like the last 5 months ~ meaning i dont know when my lmp was. At anyrate how do you reconcile things? How do you make a decision that either way will adversely affect the rest of your life. For me adoption is not an option (one ~ minority children dont get adopted as much, and two... i'd just bee to attached).

I am feeling like I know what i MUST DO. but to make that decision means to numb myself to everything, my values, my beliefs, ect, and to accept that i will be emotionally messed up afterwards ( I've done it once b/f so i know what i'm in for).

On the other hand having a baby now....it just turns everything in my life upside down. The current kids i have and their school situations (they attend private school but couldnt contiune if i did b/c of money), my husbands schedule (he'd have to work opposite of my shift so i would see him), my schedule (currently in a doctorate program ~ how in the world would i finish that ? plus i work 30+ hours a week now)

Auggghhh, I just need to know how to reconcile things. Ive determined from reading some of the post that many of you are pro-life. I too considered myself to be part of that group. However, if i follow through with my beliefs, who will help me? and could I even do that to my family again.

Any thoughts?
Sonai
Mother of 4 already.

Dear Sonai,

Hi. Me again. I was just browsing and saw you posted again. My heart just goes out to you with the anguish you're in! But since you're still wrestling with this and you asked how you can reconcile things, can I give you one more thing to consider? Life is seasons. The season of having young children is hard. Really hard. But it passes, and you can move on to other things later. YOU'RE ALREADY A MOM!! (And you sound like a really good one.) You know what it's like. You know the blessings and the kisses and the PBJ smiles. You also know what you would be doing if you choose abortion...how can you possibly go through it again??! I'm sure having this baby seems impossible. But you know, when things are impossible is when God gives us the most strength. He created this baby. He can make a way for you and your husband (and the rest of your family) to welcome it! You asked about getting help. I don't know if you're a person of faith, but there are many churches that would help you. There are Pregnancy Resource Centers (do a search for your area) that can connect you with other women who could help with childcare, and many times for free. I'm in the St. Louis area and we have a great network that helps with exactly the kind of things you need help with. Unlike how the media likes to portray us, prolifers are definitely committed to helping women who choose life for their babies with ALL aspects, even after the baby is born. You can email me further if you want to talk offline.<br><br>Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2006/09/27 20:20