Hi, Im a 2o year old mother of my 9 month old son, I couldn't be happier being a mother, it has truly been the best thing that has happened to me. But ive been having alot of trouble with the birth father of my son. He is a drug addict, and when we met he was a recovering heroin and opiate user and I was aware of that. I really wanted to help him and our relationship turned into romance. When I found out I was pregnant he was in jail and stayed in jail for half of my pregnancy. When he did get out, my parents opened there home to him ( I was and am living with them)I had some doubts about his sobriety and finaly 4 weeks after my son was born he admited to have been using drugs again for quite some time. I havn't been with him since....

He has however been fighting for supervised visitations with my son, but I wouldn't let that happen without proof that he is infact clean. Two weeks ago I found out that the birth father of my son is HIV positive and that my son and I were possibly infected. During my pregnancy I was tested and it came back negative but I was still worried about the health and safety of my son and mine. After 2 weeks of prayers the results came back negative ( so gratefull) But even after all of this the birth father of my son is still fighting for visitations.... after having put his own son in risk of HIV and after him not supporting his son emotionaly or financialy. Im trying really hard to protect my son and make the right decisions. Ive made poor decisions in the best and im trying my best to give my son the life that he deserves and I honestly think that the visitations that the birth father is requesting is not in the best interest of my son. At this point he has nothing left to offer my son, he is not mentally nor physically stable. I also have to mention that the birth father is not doing well and it has progressed to AIDS and does not have a very long life a head of him. I feel terribly sorry, but that is ultimately the life he chose to live. Am I making the right decision in fighting through the courts to not have visitions take place. Or is that too much? I just want my son to be safe.


Very worried Mama

Hey Mama.I'm so sorry you had to go through all this drama with your baby daddy. I know this can't have been an easy time for you. I think it is really in your child's best interest that you stay away from him and don't allow any unsupervised interactions between him and the child. Ideally your child would have his father in his life but you have to be real.... he is a drug addict and he risked you and your sons life already and he is probably mentally unstable. It's just not safe. And while he may not do anything to harm you or your child... what if he does?

If, and only if, he gets clean and proves it to you... then you should allow him to see his son but otherwise keep protecting him.

Well you can fight for custoty and possibly win since he is a drug addict. Thats what I would do your kid do not need that around him. You sound like a caring and loving mother and thats all a child needs. I never knew my father my mom kicked him out for the same reason. Drugs&Alcochol. She knew it'll be better for me if he was not around and it was. Good luck