Please could someone help - any advice or help would be so appreciated, I feel like i am going crazy.
I am currently 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby and although the pregnancy was unplanned I was over-the-moon.
I did not think I would ever be pregnant, - Im 36 and have had a lot of problems with Ovarian Cysts, Endometriosis etc.
I have been so foolish though, I met a very charming, funny guy at work, we instantly 'got-on' and things developed from there, against my better judgement, we went out a few times [He chassed me] and had a really great time and inevitably we slept together.
We quickly became very close and he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me etc and I fell head-over-heels in love with him although I never intended to.
The problem is he is married and despite telling me several times that he would leave his wife, he never has.
When I found-out I was pregnant it was a hell of a shock, but when I got my head-round it I was so, so happy. He said that he would 'support me', but when he didn't leave his wife things quickly went downhill and we started arguing.
three or four weeks ago, I had abdo pains through the night and at 7.30am, I started bleeding so I went to the hospital to make-sure everything was ok. On the way (just before 8am) I rang him to tell him and told him I wanted him there and he said he would come asap.
I went to A&E initially and spent an hour there, and was then sent up to the Pregnancy assessment unit. After seeing the Doctors and test after test they decided I needed a scan to see if I has mis-carried and addmitted me to the ward. By the time all this had been done it was nearly 11am and he still had not arrived so I called him again. He said he was in the carpark and would be there soon and I shouted at him to get a move-on.
I went in for the scan just before 12 noon and he still had not arrived so I had to go in alone.
The scan was inconclusive because I was still early stages and they could only see a small 'black area' on the scan so I still did not know if I had lost the baby or not. When I came out I was in-pieces, I did not know if I was still pregnant or not and I just wanted to curl-up and cry and cry and I was desperate for a hug. I was asked to come back the following day for an 'internal scan' and more bloods.
When I tried to ring him again after the scan, his phone was switched-off and I tried for ages to try and get hold of him. Eventually I rang my friend who picked me up and took me home. When I tried to ring him later that day, he answered said "I should not have shouted at him and he hopes I do lose it because he does not want it" and hung-up and then refused to answer any further calls.
Since then it has been a nightmare, I have tried to make things 'ok' with us so many times, asked him if he is going to 'be there' for me and the baby (financially as well as emotionally) and he replied "No, it your problem, not mine" and he looks at me/talks to me like Im dirt. He is now denying he is the Father even though he knowns damn well there is absolutely NO chance its someone else's.
The problem is, I still have to work on the same section as him and see him at least 5 days per week and its really stressing me out. I cant tell work the circumstances because they will 'blame' me - it is always the woman's fault even though he is the one who is married and he chassed me and I dont want my collegues thinking I am some-king of whore or that I trapped him because whilst I have been stupid, I never intended for this to happen and they could not be further from the truth.
I am struggling with fatigue to the point of exhaustion, the worst nausea and sickness ever and generally feeling crap. I dont have any support and I feel so, so alone. I dont know what to do about him , work or anything and I am constantly worrying which wont do little one any good at all.
Please could someone help, i feel like i am going out of my mind. Thank you.