I don't know what to do anymore. I was pregnant the first time when I was 17 years old. I was scared to death, but I wanted to keep my baby. Honestly I was a bitch and I got pregnant on purpose. I was fighting back and forth with my boyfriend at that time and he would up breaking up with me at 6 months into the pregnancy. I wanted to have that \"Happy Family\" so I told him I would give the baby up for adoption. So I was doing it for him not for myself or the benefit of my son who is now 19 months. My ex and I found a family four months before the baby was born. We got to know them, but when I had the baby i chickened out and kept my son for four months then finally made my decision. This was August 2006. Now I'm pregnant with my second child and 6 months pregnant today. My boyfriend now is a lot more supportive then my last, but I still want to keep this baby. I feel like I'm waisting another ten months of my life to get nothing in return. I know that sounds selfish and I know I'm doing a great thing by giving my child to another deserving family, but what am I getting in return other than ripped emotions and another broken heart? I lost two people I care about the first time this happened. I didn't plan this pregnancy at all, but I still feel like I'm going to loose both the father and my baby when we give this little guy to another family. All my friends and family want me to keep my baby. They aren't offering to help me in anyway. I'll be turning 20 a month after my new baby is born. My boyfriend said he's not ready to be a father and that he wishes this was 4 or 5 years down the road because we found out we are having a boy and that's what he wants. I really do feel like I'm waisting another ten months of my life. I can't work as much as I usually could and I';m literally living pay check to paycheck with what I'm getting paid now. I was at a great job but because I got pregnant I was let go because some how it was going to interfere. There is just so much crap that I have to deal with. I know that there are people out there that have it worse, and I pretty much just have to tough it out, but I'm tired of toughing things out. This isn't the first issue I've had to deal with. and I'm really just tired of working hard and getting nothing in return. no congratulations for graduating on time and having a child just two months before. No award for giving my first child to another family. No step father put into prison for molesting me. Instead I have to move out of my own house after three years of putting up with it. The only two people who showed up to my graduation ceremony was my ex and my son. Like F**k. I'm just tired of everything. Anyway I could just keep venting. I need help.

Hey there my name is Meagan and I came across your post here... I just want to tell you that you are an amazing Stand Up Girl... I know that you have a deep wound in your heart from giving up your last baby but honestly, you would regret abortion way more than adoption.. if you don't mind me asking...was it an open adoption?? If so maybe in time you will find more peace by visiting and sharing photos...and if not then you can consider open adoption with this one to prevent what is going on now... I don't know you or your boyfriend or your family so I can't tell you what you should do, but....you have proven yourself to be a fighter, a Stand Up Girl, and a victor...if you want to keep your baby I have full confidence that you can provide for the two of you and you can be a great mommy... I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and I had months where I had a whole 38 cents in my back account but we never went without...you are already living paycheck to paycheck so you have learned to budget and shop wisely...the state can help with child care depending on where you live and you can always apply for food stamps or go to food banks....I have been married now for a year...I met a wonderful man who wanted to be my husband and a father to my two kids...maybe things will work with your current boyfriend and if not if I got married with two then you are bound to meet someone who wants to be in your family too...I know that you can do this but the question is how bad do you want this...are you ready to make major sacrifices, I learned to not buy things that I didn't need, makeup, hair products, fast food, paper towels, fabric softener, you name it...if I had a way to without I did, I never ran out of diapers...I came close but things always worked because I put my kids first...If you have the motivation you can do ANYTHING!!! you can get college grants if that is what you choose, housing assistance, energy assistance...who knows your family could see your strength and step in and say \"you have worked so hard and we are proud of you\" and then begin to help...they have supported you through adoption and that in itself is a blessing, some family's shun their kids for getting pregnant or try their hardest to convince them to kill their child but your family has embraced you and helped you to get this far...if you want your baby keep him...if you know that you don't have the motivation then you are already doing a loving thing by choosing adoption...I am proud of you for what ever you decide...you have given this child life and that is so very honorable...you are a true Stand Up Girl and I know you have what it takes to be a full time mom...if I could do it at 20 so can you!!! Love Meg This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Then why don't you keep it? You love your baby, you're its mother. The best person a child can grow up with is its mother more often than not, so what if you're young. Look at the girls on this site, they're all young. They're doing great jobs. They love and enjoy their lives and their families and their children.
Why adopt a child out if you could very well raise it yourself?
Please keep strong, you can do this.

I salute you for doing the right thing, for giving this child life. You won't regret this decision.
Your totally amazing, you're so strong to deal with that kind of situation.
You know what, you're still bless and lucky because you still have the ability and chances to have a child, unlike with the others who undergo different kind of treatments just to have one.

Everything will be fine, just be strong and don't ever give up..