im 18 and a licensed estheticain. im 23 weeks and the father cant make up his mind. my dad is a pastor, i come from a strong christian upbringing and i guess you could say im the rebellious one. i really want this baby but i do get cold feet. my parents will support whatever decision but they want me to adopt. now the arguments both ways are really strong and i agree...but im caught in the middle..so confused..if you have any opinions or ideas please respond.

Hi there! I'm Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website.

Can I ask you ... what does YOUR heart want? Firstly - you are 23 weeks pregnant and I'm sure by now you are 'feeling' the movement of your baby. I truly believe that adoption is a wonderful and beautiful choice. There are also different kinds of adoption.

There is 'opened adoptions' where you can keep in touch with the family, or some families would allow maybe 1 or 2 visits in the first year ... or you can get photos mailed to you to just kind of be kept 'up to date' on how wonderfully happy your baby is.

Ultimately - it definitely is up to you and it is your decision. Adoption can be difficult - but at the very same time very freeing and very beautiful!

My Sr. Pastor and his wife adopted 2 babies. They can't have any babies and I will tell you ... these precious little ones are loved to pieces and treated like gold.

Remember - YOU get to select the adoptive parents and YOU get to make the choices.

My dear friend - whatever decision you make ... adoption or keeping and parenting your baby - you are a wonderful and loving mommy! Your heart is as warm and safe as any mommy's heart could ever be. Why? Because you are truly thinking about 'what is best for my baby'? And you are taking the time and considering 2 very important and loving options.

I would encourage you to pray about it ... but don't be afraid to maybe even venture out. Interview some couples. Don't feel that you HAVE TO MAKE AN ADOPTION COMITTMENT. You know? You can interview some couples and still ... you can decide to keep your baby.

It sounds like your parents are really being a wonderful support. Lean on them. They love you and I know they love their grandbaby too.

OK?

Please feel free to e-mail me at the site any time you like. OK?

I'm here for you.

Luv Lisa

thanks alot for that. its hard to find friends that support adoption it somethimes feels like if choose that ill lose my friends. so i appreciate it more than you know. kelly

look in to your heart and listen to it...don't let the people around you make a decision that you will reagret...and if ur family will support you in the choice you make, don't let their opinions change what you want to do....and if decide to give up the baby, there is open adoption which lets you keep in contact with the baby and the family that has him/her....good luck in whatever you choose....

Wow, you have a lot going on right now and making a decision like this is the most hardest thing any one can do. I have a lot of friends that have put their babies up for adoption, I didn't think about it when I had my son I know that I could never be strong if I did it my self. But for some people it is the best decision they ever made. I don't think being christian has any thing to do with the choice you make, it is up to you not your parent's or your friends. The father and you have a lot of talking to do but make sure you make a decision that you can live with. Please don't make this choice because of fear the only way to over come fear is by doing it... Good luck and I hope whatever you do makes you happy!!!

I respect the fact that your choice is to keep the baby or adopt. My question is now that you have found yourself in this spot if you adopt the baby are you going to learn from this? A girl in my town lost her virginity on a night of irrational thinking, got pregnant , and has put her daughter in a good home. the people who adopted her allow visits from her . She will always be known as a \"friend of the family\" untill her daughter is an adult and mature enough to handle the truth. Since this change in her life she no longer puts herself in an environment to make poor decisions. And she has learned from this. So my prayer for you is that you would either keep the baby and walk a tough but rewarding road of reprocussions or that you would place this baby in a home that cannot conceive a child. But regardless of your decission may you truly press into the Lord, learn a lesson, and see Gods grace all around you God Bless