hei there.
im so sorry that you had to go through this... i went through one when i was 16, and really...like Eva said there is no fast fix to it. there will be ups and downs, and most likely it will be on your mind all the time. but it will get easier. like all the things get with time- mmm i think you somehow...learn to live with it. but first o, you will have to forgive yourself. the more you will hold on to it, blame yourself...you will just fall into a depression and everything will be even harder- i speak out of my own experience.
talk. write. research. thats what helped me. the research part hurt m,e at first, oh so much... but then i ... i dont know, i named my baby, i started having some 'rituals' just the aborted baby and i, and it helped. i wrote about it, a lot, and i was talking about it, and that helped me, not having to have the emotions in my self, but lettin them out, express them to people who have been through the same.
know, you are not the only one. if you ever want to talk, im here.
love,
Monika