I am currently 5 weeks pregnant and miserable. From the day I found out I was pregnant ( 2 weeks ago), I have cried everyday. I wake up, cry, go to work, leave work, cry. That is my daily routine. When I first found out, I felt i was pushed into keeping it, because the person i first told is pro life, and told me how disgusting it was to abort. After two solid weeks of crying, starving myself and massaging my stomach roughly in hopes of miscarrying, I've decided to abort. I'm angry though, because I feel like my friend pushed me into keeping it, when I never wanted it in the first place. I understand that some people are strongly against abortion, but I don't want to hear it. I think it's disgusting that someone, especially a "good" friend would push their beliefs onto me like that. Some people don't realize how hard it is to keep a child that you don't really want. The fact that I'm slowly killing myself through starvation should be enough to make them realize that having this child is not the right choice for me. My abortion is booked, and now I feel like i'm forced to lie to this friend and tell them i miscarried after the surgery is complete, just to avoid a lecture I don't want to hear. Has anyone else ever experienced this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sweetie, You are right, it is your choice, I want you to take a few minutes and be opened minded, disregard what your friend has already said and take away the fear of having to tell her or lie...I felt very much like you when I first found out I was pregnant, I cried, threw up, was depressed and miserable, I planned on having an abortion so I continued to smoke, drink and do other miscellaneous recreational drugs and pills...There are a few different kinds of abortion, the two most common at this time are the surgical D&C and also the pill, RU486... With the surgery you will most likely be given some kind of a pain reliever and will be dilated artificially....and then once you are dilated the surgeon will use a curettage tool to scrape and remove the baby from your uterus, risk factors involved can be that the sharp tool used can puncture your uterus, the dilators used can damage your cervix and both of those things can potentially render you infertile permanently and also cause issues with carrying a future child to term...also if any part of the baby is left inside of you you can face major infection that can also potentially render you infertile or cause problems with future pregnancy, any of these issues can also be life threatening and many women have died from one or more of these complications...this is not to scare you or an attempt to change your mind but with any surgery you should go in prepared and educated about the risks...with the abortion pill you will take the first set that will in a sense poison the baby and cause it to die, then the second set will cause your body to go into labor, causing contractions and eventually expel the baby...sometimes the second set of pills will not work correctly and you will still have to go in for the surgery and sometimes not all of the baby will come out and you will face infection...the pain of the contractions are harder, stronger and more painful than regular natural labor because it is chemically induced...there have been many women, not all, but many who have actually expelled their baby into the toilet and even though it is small at an early stage they have been able to see it after puncturing the gestational sack, no matter what kind of abortion you seek it is important to go through counseling before and after, here is a number to a place where you can seek FREE and CONFIDENTIAL counseling 1-800-395-HELP, they can discuss the risks and procedures in better detail than I am able to...now I want to share an experience that I had a couple years back...a very dear friend of mine found out she was pregnant, I was pregnant as well, we were due almost the same day...she was worried and scared not only to do this alone with two other kids but because of her medical health, she was told that the weight gain and strain on her body could cause major health problems, she decided that she was going to have an abortion, I shared with her about the risks and the emotional consequences and she eventually decided that she had no other choice...she took the RU486 pill...she called me before she had taken her second set of pills, she wanted to change her mind, the ER told her that she had to take the second set of pills or she could end up with a really bad infection and potentially die, she took the second set and had horrible pains, she ended up catching the baby in her hand when she went to the bathroom, she did not puncture the little yellow sack that ended up on her hand but she knew what was in there, she took the sack with the baby in it and placed it on some toilet paper in her toilet and flushed it, she was unable to use her toilet for the longest time and would go to her moms house across town and make up various excuses of why she always showed up to go potty...I am thankful that she didn't tell me she "miscarried" she was free to share her pain and regret with me because she didn't have to keep up a lie, if your friend is a true and real friend she will love you and be there for you regardless of the choice you make, she may hurt for you as I hurt for my friend, she may regret not saying the right thing, just like I do, she may be disappointed, but if she is a true friend she will still be there and love you even if she doesn't approve of what you decide...with that said, I do not agree with abortion, I think it does so much more than end a pregnancy, it affects the mom and those who love her in a negative way more than a positive, and it is a regret that is extremely hard to live with for the rest of your life...also with that said I will be here for you even if your friend wont be...legally it is your choice and I hope that you will take this info, do some research, very thorough research and make a decision that you can live with, you can always reschedule an appointment but you cannot undo abortion, you can choose adoption and then take it back but you cannot bring a baby back to the womb to finish growing and developing...You can choose to parent and then decide on adoption if it is too much but you cannot take back abortion......please think long and hard...and please regardless of what you decide let me know just so I can keep tabs!! Love Meg

Also be sure they do an ultrasound and that you see it, sometimes the baby can be caught in your tube and the RU486 will not expel a baby from your tube and it requires a different kind of surgery than a normal D&C to remove the baby in that circumstance....

Hey myright,

I sent you a message as well. How are you getting on?

Thank you for responding. yes, I'm aware that going through with this procedure may render me infertile. I know 10 years from now I may think about what i've done and my choice may haunt me. I also know that i'm in a lot of physical pain that is apparently "normal" when you're pregnant. I didn't realize that pregnant women experienced sharp, nauseating pains in their abdomen. I also didn't realize they bleed everyday and pass clots and other weird coloured tissue. Oh, and I can't forget to mention the numbness in my left arm and leg. I can't do this for 8 more months. I understand this sounds selfish, but i'm just not ready. I am not ready for the physical and emotional changes that accompany pregnancy, regardless if i keep it or put it up for adoption. I am not ready. I am not ready. I am not ready. I AM NOT READY.

I am hungry, and tired. I'm sick of trying everything to get rid of it and believe me, i have tried every method that's out there. From applying heating pads to my stomach, to lifting heavy weights with extremely vigorous exercise to just not eating. I have tried it all. I just want it gone.

Sweetie, I want you to know that what you are experiencing is NOT normal...yes early in pregnancy you can experience sharp pains here and there but what you are describing is not sounding too good...also you should not be loosing clots, blood or pieces of tissue, that is if you have not taken anything to induce an abortion....You NEED to go to the EMERGENCY ROOM ASAP...sweetie this is very important, you need to be seen by a doctor IMMEDIATELY, the thing is you could be having a miscarriage and or the possibility that you did something so strenuous in attempts to miscarry and have hurt yourself, the baby or both of you, please be sure you are seen NOW....and please let me know what you find out...this is NOT normal....Love Meg