Hello,

I am Gabby i am 17 years old and i had a abortion last year 9/9/08 and it has compleatly torn me apart.
I am pregnant again and due on the 22nd november 2009 with a little girl going to be named sophia rose clarke.
I miss my daughter so much for months i cried myself to sleep my mum and dad were verry angry that i fell pregnant again and tried to make me have a abortion again and this time i stood up to them and said no.
My boyfriend Ollie is amazing and i love him so much but i feel like he does't understand what it feels like.
I just feel so low right now and so upset and i feel so depreassed.
I did go to a lady to try and talk to her about my loss but it only helped to a sertain exstatent i just feel so lost and i feel so selfish and awful i keep asking my self why couldt sasha-lou live? why did i do that to her? and do i deserve to have sophia? and why couldt sophia see her big sister and how do i tell her one day what i did to her sister and the awful things my mum and dad have put me thru when i was pregnant with her? like hitting me and booking an appointment for the clinic.
how can i get thru this?






Sasha-Lou Nicole Clarke r.i.p mummy & daddy love you <3 allways 10/4/08-9/9/08 & happy birthday 12/1/09 :'(



Gabby xx

Gabby,
i've been keeping up on your posts for quite sometime. I'm so sorry your heart is broken.

I think that your grief will be a great motivator in you becoming an awesome mother. You will not take one day for granted in the new life that you are creating and will treat her with so much love and tenderness it will radiate off of you.

I have not suffered loss thru abortion, but have thru stillbirth. My daughter Charlotte Nicole died in my womb at 36 weeks in December of 2006. It's been almost 3 years and I still think of her every. single. day.

The first year was the most difficult, but it does still hurt. I have since gone on to have another baby, but he will never take the place of Charlotte; nor would I want him to. You see, she was a different person and loosing her shaped me. Although I would NEVER want to go thru that again, I am thankful for that experience. I learned how to treasure every breath.

You are in my thoughts, dear one.