My darling, precious angel

It's been so long and still, the pain is as fresh as if it happened only yesterday. Sometimes it feels like I'm still stuck on August 7th, 2007... I think a part of me will always be stuck on that dreaded day. I've been trying so hard to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, the mistakes that took you from me, but I never will. I cling to the memories of our short time together with ever increasing desperation, sometimes deliberately torturing myself with thoughts of you.

I've learned to live with your ghost, that dictates my every mood, my every emotion... I see you in the faces of passing children, I hear you in their laughter and their cries. How I wish I could wipe your tears, comfort your fears , hear your innocent laugh and your gentle breathing, feel your tiny fingers curl around my finger. I ache to rock you to sleep, feel your heart beating against my breast as you enter your dream land. I want to chase away the monsters under your bed, tell you stories about princesses in towers, in lands far far away from all this heartache and sadness.

We never talk about you, your father and I. I wish we did. Sometimes when we lie in bed at night, there's a silence that I want to fill with your memory, but I think it's too painful for him too sometimes... I don't even know if he thinks about you these days. He's a wonderful man, I know that he would've been an amazing father to you. Please don't be angry with him, he was just as overwhelmed and confused as I was. We thought we were doing the right thing at that time. Everything he does is to make life comfortable enough for us to try again. I am waiting impatiently for you, I know that you are waiting to come back to me.
I miss you my beautiful darling, Sophia.

All my love, for eternity
Mommy Eva xoxo

Eva I am so sorry for you loss. I cannot begin to imagine how you feel. Just know that God and your baby have forgiven you. And little Sophia will be waiting for you to hold and love her in heaven. I wish the best for you and your bf, take care Eva.

-Enya <3

aww honey i am so sorry!!

know that your baby loves you... bo matter what she loves you,ok?

she knows that now that you know what the right decision is,you wouldnt make it again, and she knows that you love her. she loves you back.,

light a candle on your window when you feel really bad, and look intoo the sky and talk to her, tell her that you miss her, you will see, that night she will come to you, im sure...and you will feel better. maybe just for a day, a hour, but you will.

if you need someone to listen, to vent, anythhing, id love to be there for you!

GangY that is such a great idea. I know this is not the same but when i was 9 my cat died (he was like my bestfriend) and i used to pray and talk to him haha. it really helped.
best of luck Eva

<3

well yea its not the same, but it does help right..=)

Hi gangy and enya
Thanks for the great ideas. I've been consecrating and lighting candles for her for a long time and sometomes when I'm sitting under the stars, I feel really close to her.
It helps that I've started working because I have less time to sit around and mope. Keeping busy really helps!