I posted a week ago that I had discovered that I was pregnant again with baby number 5, and that i'm currently married and in a doctorate program. I felt and still feel that I am overwhelmed and that having a proceedure would be best for all involved. That being said I have decided that I CAN NOT go through with having an abortion again. I called a dr. yesterday to set up an appointment to go ahead and do it and was informed that medical abortions are no longer done (heard this from 3 diff. clinics) in the clinic b/c of the complications and the horrible outcomes. I told the woman on the other end of the phone how far i thought I was and she told me that I'd have to wait a couple of weeks b/c i was so early so that they could be sure to get all the \"tissue\" and not miss any. \"Tissue\" was this woman kidding me? I already know that this little baby has a heart beat. This is not simply \"tissue\", And to wait longer so that it can grow more and develop so that they can ensure they are sucking it all out is crazy!!

I dont know how i'm going to do this. Im sure that my husband is not going to be pleased at all. ( He just got a vesectomy 2 weeks ago b/f we found out i was preggers) and im sure my mother and his family will totally disown us. OMG... what am i commiting to? Drama, Stress, Money worries? these all come to mind. But I dont care!! This little baby will have life!!

I found a letter that i wrote after i had an abortion in 02 and it reaffirmed my decision and dedication to NEVER go through that again. In addition, I had to remind myself of all of the ramifications of having an abortion ~ the fact that life is no longer there, the hollowness, emptyness, emotional turmoil, not being able to look at my kids or the kids of others for a while. These were all things i experianced b/f. I had a proceedure b/f with the thought that it would assist me in obtaining my educational goals (i was pursuing an advanced degree at the time). Now that i am pursuing my doctorate I once again have those thoughts that a new baby will delay my progress. Who cares. sometimes we have to put things into perspective and think of what is right. I am the mother to this little undeveloped \"mass of tissue\" which is actually a small human being. If God has blessed me with the abilty to concieve this child, then obviously he knows what best and that i'll be able to handle it. I just have to trust in my faith and believe that things will work out to the good!!

I just hope that i'll be able to keep my kids in private school and not disrupt their lives too much. The anger and stress from both my parents and my hubbys... well we will deal with that. After all, I am 29 and i think thats pretty much grown. I'll keep you updated. I have an appointment to cancel.

P.S. If you are considering abortion then please inform yourself wisely. From a person who both has children and has gone through a proceedure I can tell you that unless you are totally unfeeling and heartless it will effect you for the rest of your life. also check out the website www.abortiontv.com.

Please wish me luck... and PRAY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY!!

May God Bless you and your family!!!

I am so happy to hear about your choice and your great courage in defending this child. I read your earlier posts about being pregnant again when you first posted them. You have been in my prayers since I read the first one, and you and your family will be in my prayers in the months ahead.
Teresa

Don't worry Sonai, it may seem difficult and confusing right now but it'll all work out. Talk to your husband. You don't want to decide something like this on your own.

Will Pray for you.

UPDATE:

I ran across this site yet again when i was cleaning up a few thing on my computer. Long story short... the pregnany did not contiune to term as my child stopped developing at 9 weeks and no heartbeat could be found. My body just naturally expelled everything within 3 days of finding this out.

I post this information bc as stated i am the mother to 4 beautiful kids and had the 1st when i was only 18. I will be finishing up my doctorate this year (only 2 years off track) and am looking forward to progressing in my career.

Ladies that are young and unsure, and worried... you have a right to be so. However, know that somethings do work out. That having a child is not the end of the world, and that you CAN still accomplish your goals.

My #5 was not to be and all the stressing and debating that i did on this board was in vain bc ultimately the creator had the final say. I would have been due sometime soon i know. But right now... my family is complete, and everything is going well.

I wish you all much luck and good health!!

Well you certainly have my prayers....I also serve a faithful God who has provided for my family so many times and I agree with you that He has allowed you to conceive and that means that He has a plan and a purpose for this little life inside of you.... If you keep trusting in the Lord and you follow His ways He will provide for your growing family....I pray that you will walk in His power and might and that you would put on your armor (Ephesians 6) so that you can fight this battle with both sides of parents, remember \"we fight not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers of darkness\" ... by keeping this baby you are doing the right thing and I know the Lord will bless that......God bless you and take care......Meg