IN DECEMBER OF 2005 I BECAME PREGNANT WITH MY VERY FIRST CHILD.....I WAS HAPPY AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME,SO ONE NIGHT IN JANUARY I DECIDED TO TAKE A PREGNANCY AND WITHIN SECONDS I SEE A POSITIVE RESULT,THEN CONFUSING KICK IN I TOLD MY BOYFRIEND THAT I WAS PREGNANT AND HE SAID 'I KNOW' THEN I SAID TO HIM HOW DID U KNOW HE SAID TO ME 'BECAUSE I DID IT ON PURPOSE'I WAS SHOCKED SO FOR A FEW WEEKS LATER WE ARGUE DAY & NIGHT NOT ABOUT THE BABY BUT ABOUT OTHER THINGS ANYWAYZ I DECIDED THAT I COULD'NT STAND HIM ANYMORE AND WANTED TO BREAK UP ,SO FOR ME ABORTION WAS MY CHOICE HE BEGGED ME TO KEEP THE BABY AND I SAID NO.SO ON FEBRUARY 20TH 2006 I HAD AN ABORTION RIGHT AFTER I DID IT .....LOW SELF ESTEEM,REGRET AND SHAME KICKED IN.I CRIED MORNING , NOON AND NIGHT I HATED MYSELF.SO IN APRIL 2006 OF THE SAME YEAR I BECAME PREGNANT AGAIN THIS TIME I PROMISE TO KEEP MY BABY ,IM NOW (15WKS PREGNANT)3 AND A HALF MONTHS AND IM DOING GREAT , BUT I JUST CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT MY FIRST BABY.SO NOW WHEN ANYONE SAID TO ME 'IS THIS YOUR FIRST CHILD' I SAID YES .... THEN AFTER I SAID IT THE GUILT KICKED IN..... CAUSE I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT I HAVE ABORTED MY FIRST CHILD...............................' FOR ALL THOSE WHO THINK ABORTION IS BEST ITS JUST SO EASY TO SAY , BUT AFTER ITS ALL SAID AND DONE THE REGRETS...THE GUILT AND THE SHAME KICKS IN WHEN ITS TOO LATE' THINK TWICE LADIES AND GOOD LUCK.

I actually have a similar story as you......First and foremost I would like to say that I am sorry for your loss but also happy for you for the new child you are carrying. I also became pregnant in December 2005 with my fiances child....(he has 2 already)....I always felt like the other mother had something i didnt ....so when I became pregnnant I knew he would be upset because he wasnt ready for another one we were trying to plan our wedding and save for a house .....long story short he would go back and forth ...happy then mad....happy then mad again ....finally we decided on the abortion and since then I felt nothing but emptiness inside....and depression ....we are still together and it hurts because everyday some new in his family is pregnant and they have nothing (monetary wise) but they still keep their babies. I even have had dreams that my baby is like a year old and I am playing with him and I see his face....then he is gone.......I know you know this feeling. Now it makes me want another one even more and I think I might be pregnant again but I wont know till next week. I hope it helps you to know other people know your loss and you are not alone.....Is your new baby one the way with the same guy? Feel free to email if you need a friend

i understand ur post cuase i felt bad after but i talk about it to my bf all the time becuase it helps me not hurt so much any more but good luck on your new baby im sure it will b really cute

[/b]yes erica my new baby is with the same guy but right now we argue every single day.......i cant stand him at all......silly me get caught up again.but im keepin this baby not becauz of him though i found me a new man who's willin to take care of me and my baby..... my boyfriend even threaten to kick me in my stomach ' but god knows that after he did that i would be in prison serving a life sentence or on death row' cauz this baby is innocent he or she have'nt done anything to him.......i told him that i do not want him at the hospital on the day when im giving birth neither i wanted his name on the birth certificate....... as soon as i have my baby im movin to another state so he will never get to see my child......... feel free to email me anyone if you like...... good luck.

Hi. I kind of know what your going through. In November last year, we found out our baby had got very severe Spina Bifida and was told he would not survive the pregnancy, as fluid was pushing his spine into his brain and he was completly brain dead. We had to make the heartbreaking decision to terminate the pregnancy. As I was 18 weeks, I had to give birth asnd we had a gorgeous baby boy. To this day I regret the decision we made, and I would give up everything to turn the clock back. Then I found out last week that i was pregnant again, and at first was really happy. then the guilt kicked it. I can't stop thinking about my son and how I wish things were so different. Once you make the decision to terminate a pregnancy theres no going back and we both know the hard way how it feels and what its like to cope. Abortion is never the easy way out...