I had an abortion November 11th, 2005. For some reason the date is etched in my mind. I cant stop thinking about my decision. I new I was having unprotected sex and I new what could happen. But just like many woman I never thought it could/would happen to me. But to make a long story short. I'm having a very difficult time dealing with my decision. I cant even look at baby clothes or hold a baby without getting emotional. My boyfriend is constantly telling me we can have another. But the thing is I dont want another. I want what I cant have. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I began to cry because I new what I had to do. My bf isnt working and I go to work and to school just to make ends meat. So bringing a baby into the mix wouldnt be a wise decision. My question is, do you ever really get over this? I really want to stop crying almost every week, I get depressed all the time, I constantly get these sharp pains in my abdomen. My boyfriend is the greatest he's allways there to hold me when I cry but its just not enough. My due date was June 20th, Im dreading that day. It should've been one of my happiest moment but in the end it'll become the worst day of my life. I dont know if anyone can relate to what Im saying. Im not sure what the reason for this post is. I guess its just to vent. I also havent shared any of this with my bestfriend. I just dont want the pity you know. Ok well hopefully anyone who reads this has some input. If not thanks for listening/reading.

Hi - my name is Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website. You asked if anyone could understand your pain. I am so very sorry your heart is so broken. And yes, I do understand that pain that you are experiencing. It is not anything that anyone can explain with words. The only girl that can ever truly understand the pain is ... someone that has been there. And yes, I know your pain my friend. I am so sorry your heart hurts. But I just wanted to send you a short e-mail in response to your e-mail to share with you my story and how I found freedom. Trust me, I tried for so many years. I tried everything. From drugs, to drinking and partying to more relationships and even a career. Nothing worked. But I did find One thing that helped me. If you are interested, may I share a link to my story on the Stand Up Girl website for you?:

standupgirl.com/site/index.php?option=co...74&Itemid=41

I'm not trying to Bible thump or anything like that. I just found that Jesus removed my sorrow and my pain. I tell you ... I searched for 10 years. I tried it all. And now I have freedom from the pain. I've dealt with that pain. If you like I can share a site from our site, once again, where maybe you can locate a post abortion group in your area too. I did the post abortion book once for each of my 2 babies. Please check out this website.

www.abortionrecoverydirectory.org/

Let me know if you find anything near you.

Please let me know how you are. If you are OK. OK?

Luv Lisa

I can't even imagine how you feel. I don't understand how a person could abort a baby. I personally would never be able to go through with an abortion. Since I've never been in your situation I'm not sure if you will ever fully get over it, I'm sure it's something that will always be with you. However, I don't think it's right for you to become pregnant again just because you're grieving the loss. It was a decision you made, and having another baby while everything is still fresh in your memory will not bring back the baby you aborted. I think it would be a selfish thing to do, because there was a reason you aborted in the first place. You need to wait until you are really ready to become pregnant.