[b] I cannot say that I understand what you are going thorugh but I am sure that it is pretty painful for you. I am new to this site and have read many stories. It is terrible that you had to suffer something like this without any positiive support to help you. And I am sure that you are still in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally. I am in a situtaion of my own where I was faced with making a decision as Becky would put it to \" Stand up.\" And here now in this point in my life that has ben i think one of the hardes things i have had to do, and let me tell you it is a daily act for me. Because there come days where I think that if I change my mind it will just make everyone else around me happy. But with spiritual guidance I learned that we were not created to please everyone around us. We were created to please one person, God. Becasue He ultimately is who we have to answer to in the end. But the best thing about God I also learned is that whatever choices we do make against His will, He still wil love and forgive us. All we have to do s ask for it and believ that He will forgive us. It may feel like no one cares , but He does. And like the situaion I am in now I felt that there was no other way, but God can make a way out of no way. He is waiting to heal you from this great hurt you still carry, just ask Him.
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
My name is Jessica and Im 15 years old. I had an abortion aug. 19th 2005. At the time I was with an older male (19) and we had unprotected sex and I got pregnant July 8th. A few weeks before my 15 birthday. My mother found out because my friend told her out of revenge because she thought I did something which I didnt even do but thats another story. But when my mother found out she just had it in her head there is no way I would have my baby. She did eveything in her power to convince me to have an abortion.I kept telling her I just cant. See she had already had 2 abortions in her younger years and felt as if I could too. Then at one point she said I could keept the baby I was excited and happy even though I knew it was a very hard task to have a child at such a young age but I figured it would all be worth it just to feel so much love for the baby and the fact that my boyfriend who I was so completly \"inlove\" with at the time didnt want the baby cause he didnt think he could support the baby.But Ive never really believed in abortion or understood it. Well of course my mother strolled into my room late at night very intoxicated and said she would put my boyfriend in prison if I didnt terminate the pregnancy.I was heart broken I cried for hours and finally gave in. My boyfriend and I didnt work out cause he started getting very possessive and abusive. So I had to end it for my safety. I cried through out the whole procedure of the abortion and almost everyday after and I still do and what hurts me the most is I killed my baby for a man. I feel like noone cares about how I feel though just because Im young they say I made the right decision. But if it was a right choice why do I feel so depressed and hurt all the time. Over the past few months Ive devoloped a panic disorder. Its ruined my life badly. Im afraid of public places so I dont go out very often. Lately Ive just been crying ever single day and Im afraid to go to my mom because I know shes just going to lecture me on how it was such a great choice and blah blah blah ....I just feel like I have noone I hate it 
