Hey girls. I have a VERY serious problem. I have been with my bf for a year now. I live wit him. I got pregnant in August and lost the baby in October at 13 wks., cause unknown. Before I ot pregnant, we were both thinking about leaving each other because of our differences. When I lost the baby he told me in the hospital we wil stay together n try to have another one. Problem is, when I got out he was acting more and more conceided. I was going to leave him the first time because he didnt show me affection. at all. didnt notice i was there unless he was hungry or wanted 'intercourse'. when he wanted. I had thoughts that he was cheating on me because of the nuber of girls calling his phone. supposedly they were just friends from dance class. he goes out and the friends he go out with i dont trust. I am in nyte school. school ends this december and i told him i was leving to the states with my family ( we live in puerto rico). he didnt even care and agrees with my choice. MY PROBLEM: Even though we have been through all of that, i love him. And i want to be with him. but he doesnt treat me at all how i want to and would like 2 be treated. he talks to his ex girlfriends and it hurts. he can do things but when i do them im wrong. while i write this i get emotional because i have never been this 'soft' and disrespected/violated in a relationship, but i already feel coldhearted. i know hes not worth my tears, but it hurts 2 much thinking about it. if you were in my position ladies, wut would u do? how would u feel?

Marie,

I am sorry about your miscarriage. It must have been very heartbreaking for you.

I understand how you feel about your boyfriend. You have been together for about a year, have lived together and even were expecting a child for a time period. There are bound to be strong emotional ties and bonds. I would sit down and talk with your boyfriend tell him how you are feeling and your concerns and worries about the relationship.

If there is not mutual respect, love, and trust in a relationship there will be problems. It sounds like your boyfriend is not being sensitive to your needs and is quite distant. I think that you could probably do better. You deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are, someone you can trust to be faithful, someone who will listen to you and be there for you.

It sounds like these are not qualities of your boyfriend, but perhaps if you talk to him he will change. I won't tell you to break-up or not to break up, but I would think hard about whether it is healthy to maintain this relationship, especially if you will be moving. I won't lie and say that it won't be hard to break up or that you won't still have feelings for him. Breakups hurt. There is no getting around it, but in time you will heal.

Kate