Hi.
I'm now almost 16 weeks pregnant and my family and friends have accepted my pregnancy along with the daddy's family...unlike him! He is making my life a living hell, we arent together and havent been since the day before i found out i was 4 weeks pregnant, he lives about 1 hour and a half away from me so we havent seen eachother since i was about 8 weeks pregnant! when i did see him it was great until the last day i was up there when he kicked off and said he wanted me to have an abortion but i refused, ever since all i have got is a hard time if at on the odd occassion he has been nice for more tha a day it never lasts for more than like literally 2 days!! I get abuse and i've had threats althought that seems to of stopped now, but the thing that really gets to me is he will say things like he used to say, i know he is only being like this because hes too immature to cope with it despte the fat he now wants the baby, i know this isnt the real him and i want the old him back and for us to be together again and to be a family, he rang me up this morning and said in a couple of years he wants us to have another baby but were not even together!!! none of it makes sense anymore!! i'm so fed up and im at the point of desperation where i cant cope with him being the way he is anymore this isnt the real him!! i've tried everything to get "him" back but nothings working, any advice on how to actually cope other than relax dont let it get to u cos it aint that easy and any tips on how to get him back?!

You need to stop trying to get him back. He is not going to be a supportive and healthy part of you or your babies life. This boy is not ready to be a father, so don't force it on him. If the man doesn't want to be with you, don't try and make him. You need to focus on your baby, you need to be strong and have a backbone, you can't let your life be run by an abusive partner. You said that he threatened you? Wants you to have an abortion? Someone with that attitude has no right to be around you or your child. Stand up for yourself, do not let him treat you like dirt. You are defending the dignity of not just yourself, but your child. Set a good example.

I'm not going to tell you to just relax and forget about it because I know it's not that easy. But you could try giving him some time to think. Having a baby runs peoples emotions high and for some peopole it's harder to take than others. He may just be trying to figure things out.

I know you would like that support from him right now and I'm sorry he isn't giving it to you but right now I suggest that you find support in a different place like family and friends or even this web site and try to talk to him about how he is feeling and what you would like for the both of you and than you really need to think whats best for you and the baby. I'm a single parent at 16 because I knew it would be best for my daughter. I know it's easier said than done, I'm sorry.

Kaitlin

i would agree, let him be dont try to get him back.. do what you need to do for you and the baby, you cant change a person they have to want to change themselves, just give him time and let his mind get use to the fact he is a dad! and always will be, so he cant run and hide, sooner or later he'll have to face it... hope things work well. xo

All sounds like really good advice. I wish I new of this site 17 years ago when I was in the same spot you are. But I had no one and I done it myself.Just remember life is what you make of it. god will not give you no more then you can handle. Thing's are not always good but it is those things that make you a stronger person.And if I can do it so can you.You will find happyness in your life.Just let it happen.And let him go you can do better.You will be strong and you will be fine.