Hi girls,

My best friend is four months pregnant - yet she has not told anyone but me and the father. She has not gone for any check ups or seen a doctor. By this time she should have, she is putting off telling her mom - and this is really endangering her life and the baby´s. I have been supportive and given her as much as possible advice. The father on the other hand is another story he is abusive and he has an over hand on her she just won´t stand up to him. I spoke to my mom and we think Its time we should talk to her family - we have been friends since we were little girls she is 20 old enough to take care of this baby - I dont know if I should tell her mom - I will ruin our friendship and trust or I can just keep quite and stand the chance of losing her or see her going thru pain. I really dont know what to do. Any advice?

You might want to talk to your friend and tell her that you are concerned about her health and her baby's health. Offer to tell her Mom or to help her tell her.
It's good that you talked to your Mom about it... Moms usually have good advice.
I know what it's like to be in your position, and it's hard.
Here are some things that you should think about...
1. Is not telling her Mom or going to a doctor really endangering her life?
2. If she is over 18 and you have given her good advice, it is her responsibility what she does.
3. I know that it is hard to stand by, but would telling her Mom really change anything?

Does she have any health problems that make her pregnancy more risky than normal?
Why hasn't she gone to the doctor? If she is 20 I assume that she is the one that takes care of making appointments for herself and not her mom?

Really, I don't have any advice... You're in a really hard place. I'll be praying that God would give you wisdom of what to do.

Why don't you offer to go to the Doctor's with her. Then once she is on the prenatal medication and under a Doctor's care your worries are taken care of. I would say that's probably as far as you should go with it, just try to convince her that you will go with her and no one will know. I think it is her job to tell her mom when she is ready. Best of Luck. Jessica

maybe u should suggest going with her 2 tell her mom for moral n emotional support, or maybe ask ur mom to talk 2 her, if she doesn wana break the news jus yet then hold bak, let her do it wen she is ready, but let her know that her mom is gonna find out eventually... but ur ryt she does need 2 go 2 the doc...u should offer 2 go with her n remind her that its best 4 her n baby... well wish u all the best, let us kno wat u decide...

As you said, she is twenty years of age, she is old enough to go without her mother to a doctor's appointment. If she won't go by herself or with her boyfriend, why don't you offer to go with her?

I hope she understands how much she is endangering the baby's and her life by not going to the doctors. All the best xo

You should tell her family. If she gets mad at you its okay. She'll thank you for it later. Because if you don't then you could loose her and the baby. She also needs to stand up to the father of the baby. I know how it is to be in a abusive relation ship. I've been through several. Let me tell you its hard to know that your friends know and they say nothing. If my friends had said something to my parents then we could've prevented my life from going down hill into anger problems.