The future. The only thing that terrifies me more than silence and the dark. Some say you can control your future, some say you can't. I have to say I agree with both. You can control your future.. To a degree. My future seems foggy right now what with me having one year of school left and having no idea WHAT i want to do afterwards (ie which college I wanna go to or what I want to study). Not to say a baby would make my future any brighter or dimmer but I just need to know: Is feeling this way normal? Should I want to have a baby right now? And before you go on about finances. Finances are not an issue in my situation. It's my relationship. I'm scared to lose my relationship. I mean, what if all those things I hear girls say comes true? What if my relationship changes for the worst? Only thing I don't want is to lose my relationship which I've worked so hard for. At this point in my life, I should not even be onsidering having a child but.. I do.. I'm even jealous of my older sister because she got pregnant accidently while I want one now. How do I stop thinking about it?

Ugh now I feel like an idiot for even posting this.

You should not feel like an idiot at all, the fact that you are asking for advice on the issue shows that you are not certain that having a baby right now is the best thing and that shows a lot of thought and maturity...however I personally think you should wait, if you are not finished with school and are in a relationship where you are questioning if he would stick around if you got pregnant then that is 2 reasons to wait...take this time to investigate what you want when you are out of school, do you want to just be a stay home mom with a husband and kids? Is your boyfriend on that same page? If you do want a career is it child raising friendly? Take the time you have right now without your hands full of kids and test your relationship, do you both have similar goals for your future family? What makes you question whether he would stick around or not? Search that out, if he is not willing to commit to marriage first then I would be very hesitant to have children with him....pregnancy is hard, I mean I am on my third and I am married and I am not juggling school and work and I am just beat...the more stable your life is the smoother the sailing, a normal regular by the book pregnancy is touch but when you throw complications in there like swelling, gestational diabetes, scary diagnosis by ultrasound, pre term labor, and all the other things that can come up (I am facing a lot of those) it is just better to have less on your plate and to have a committed husband by your side...you have a maternal instinct and that is so much more than what I had when I first got pregnant, that is not a bad thing, just try not to act on it until your circumstances are at their best...married, solid in your choices about schooling, etc...I hope this helps...just take your time and give your future family the best of opportunities by taking it one step at a time in the right order...first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage....I failed to follow those steps my first two times and my kids will always pay the hardest for it...this time I made sure to do it right and it is still hard so save yourself some stress and heartache and if you have ANY doubts whatsoever then it is best to hold off...Love Meg

Thank you so much for your support. I've talked to him about it time and time again and he always tells me he wants to wait til we get married before we have kids. However, he did say he wanted me to be a stay at home mom . Idk what to say about that.

Thanks!