I Really need someone to talk right now, see i dont have any girlfriends and i just need to empty my heart from all these...
You see ... lately ive been having lots of problems with my boyfriend... hes always telling me that im fat, that i have a big belly, that i am grumpy, and i hate when he tells me that and then he just says that hes just kidding, but even though he says that i fell bad from all those things, how can you call FAT to an anorexic girl who just had her baby 3 months ago, im finding it really hard to overcome this eating disorder, and he just doesnt help, well he doesnt knows that im still dealing with anorexia and bulimia, but still he's not supposed to tell me all this things... hes always critizizing me about how i take care of our baby girl, im doing my best, and he treats me like im a crappy mom, that i dont take good care of my baby, that i do this and that wrong... and this really makes me mad cause, hes still living hes life as a teen, and here I am being a mom 24/7 and hes a dad just a couple days of the week for a few hours, he doesnt have to stay up all night when the baby is crying, or take care of her cause she is sick, or get up really early cause she is hungry, and besides all that he tells me im not a good mom, and when i tell him im doing my best that i feel hurt from what hes saying he says that its not that im not a good mom, but that i cant be better....WhaT TH f#%$ DOES THIS MEAN???...
And other thing that I hate is that hes beena real jerk with the sex thing, see its been three months since i had my lil girl, but we havent had sex since i was 3 months preg, and i still dont feel in mood for sex, i really dont want to have sex again till i get married,but he thinks im saying this cause i want to pressure him to marry me, but i swear its not because of that, im afraid to get preg again cause he wants me to get pregs again in a year or two, and i told him that im not getting preg again until we get married... and when i go to his house hes always touching me , and trying to convince me to have sex, but another reason i dont want to have sex its because i feel like he just wants sex for sex, i mean i didnt have sex just to have sex, i did it because i love him, for me having sex its an act of pure love...and he gets mad because of this, and i told him that if he really loved me, hell wait, but he didnt said anything ...
And today he told me \"ok ill never touch you again, so dont even bother to say no\"... this happened this morning, and so we argued and the point is that i dont know if we are still together or no... his last words were \"its a shame that your not for me\"... that was about 2 pm and its 7:30 pm and he still hasnt called...
I mean hesa a great dad and i love him to death...
But im afraid hes going to break my heart ... How can i stop loving him so he cant break my heart again...
I really need help