ok this might be a little long but i have a lot on my mind now and right now i could really use some valid advice. so if youre here to judge me- dont bother to even say anything to me i have enough that i am dealing with right now. i am 17 and almost 35 weeks pregnant with a little girl who im naming Destiny Raine. Her due date is on june-17-07. ok, her father and i were together when i got pregnant she was not planned but no child in my opinion is any type of mistake. he wanted me to get an abortion even tried pressuring me into one and i couldnt bring myself to kill an innocent life inside of me. so after a while [months and months] he warmmed up to the idea of being called Daddy. we grew apart as the months went on and at first i thought it was because i was pregnant and i couldnt exactly \"party\" like we were both used to. but it turns out he was trying to find the perfect excuse to leave me here all alone. but he still planned on being in Destinys live [ which was a relif in itself] so in the beginning of january he decided he didnt wanna be tied down for the rest of his life and broke it all off with me. about 2 or 3 weeks later i made the worst decision i have ever made [ i slept with one of his good friends] and later on he found out about , and blew up on me. totally freaked out! then the next day he called me which i knew wouldnt be good he told me he doesnt know who else i slept with and hes not taking responsibility of a child that isnt his and after shes born he wants a paternity test done. I NEVER CHEATED ON HIM, I LOVED HIM AND IM NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON, i thought he knew that. before i could even get 1 word in he had already hung up on me. so his mom called me the next day and was being very rude to me telling me basically that i am a slut and the shower we were planning was over and she called all the people she had invited and told them -my business- which really mad me mad because i am not proud of what i did in the least. i was absolutely histarical i could barely speak or breathe, i then told her i had to go and hung up on her. after i got back home around 9 she called me back crying telling me she feels horrible for upsetng me like she did and that she believes me now and that she will still throw me the shower but she still wants a paternity test. she obviously really doesnt believe me then if she still wants one done, am i right? i said 'well what if the baby comes out looking like ethan[destinys daddy] and she said well what if she comes out looking like mike[the kid i slept with one time]i was really pissed now. i said to her \" the baby gets the genes from its mother and father not sum-1 who took place 5 months later\" and she said i dont need a brush up on biology im not stupid.. and my mistake was saying to her \"you obviously are stupid if you think my baby is gunna come out looking like mike\" then she said\"well im done trying sam, now were back to square one\"

i just dont know what to do about any of this.. HELPPPP!

Wow, Honey I'm so sorry about all of that-- It's sad that they don't believe you, but this is likely an extremely emotional experience for them as well. It may be best to go ahead with a paternity test when the baby is born just so that all minds are at ease. It would be the *best* thing if they realized that you hadn't cheated on your boyfriend, but these are the consequences that you have to face now for sleeping with Mike.

I'll be praying for you! Keep us updated, and let us know when your baby is born!

(love)
J

i think you shouldn't be stressed out about it ( i know easier said than done) i think you should just tell them \"u know what? if u want a paternity test, i'll give u that just so u could actually realize how stupid u r, i loved him and never cheated on him, so we'll just sit around and wait till that paternity comes back and then ur apology to me\" cuz in ur heart u kno u didn't cheat so don't argue wit them cuz that makes it seem like u scared of takin the paternity test, so just tell them u ok wit that. when u take that paternity test and the results come back, ur pride is still standing and their tails will b between their tails.

good luck girl and don't stress it. remember us women can do it all, things that men would never survive alone, we do... keep ur head up
Debbie;)

I can't tell you what to do regarding the emotional side of all this, especially with his mom, etc.

As for the legal aspect, here's what I would do. Don't bring up the subject of paternity any further and don't respond to anyone making comments about it. Disregard any notion that the baby is anyone's but the father. Put his name on the birth certificate and go for child support. IF his bunch chooses to deny paternity, force them to take you to court and/or pay for the test themselves (expensive). Most likely they're bluffing and want you to pay for it or just drop it and him get away without responsibility. If he doesn't pay child support, you might have a fight on your hands. The judge will order the test done if he disputes paternity in a child support case. That's up to you if you want to pursue it. In other words, don't stoop to their level, remain cool about it, and go about life as if no one had any qualms about the paternity. They might be blowing hot air.

I would just consent to the paternity test and show them all the truth. It is sad that they don't believe you but it will only be a few more weeks and then you can clear everything up and I am sure Ethan and his mother will feel extremely remorseful for the stress they are putting on you. As for dating (including Ethan) be careful about who you expose your child too. It is fine to date and I encourage you to do so, just with cation. I started dating a friend from high school right after my son was born and he seemed serious about me. I even allowed my son to spend time with his mother because she insisted ( I felt uncomfortable but wanted her to approve of me). He broke up with me out of the blue and it hurt so bad. I felt like I was so distracted from that pain that though I cared for all of my son's needs I was emotionally detached from him. I also felt guilt for allowing him to spend so much time with people who just disappeared out of his life. Needless to say, I did it differently the second time I decided to date. I didn't let my boyfriend meet my son til we had been together for 3 months. I didn't have sex with him until we were engaged. Now we are getting married the 26th of this month Always put your baby forst and you will be making the right decisions.

I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM 2. MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN APRIL 5TH 2007, AND THE WHOLE NINE MONTHS HE DIDNT GO TO DRS. APPOINTMENT AND STUFF LIKE THAT HE WASNT EVEN THERE TO SEE HER BORN. WELL I HAD QUIT SLEEPING WITH HIM WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT BECAUSE HE WAS SELFISH AND THOUGHT ABOUT HIMSELF. WELL THATS WHEN HE TOLD ME HE WANTED A DNA TEST, AT THE TIME I WAS LIKE HELL NO BUT I KEPT THINKING IF I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE THEN Y NOT. IN OHIO THE TEST R FREE SO I WENT ON AHEAD AND GAVE IT TO HIM.WELL WHEN I CALLED AND TOLD HIM ABOUT HER BEING BORN HE DENYED IT. SHE WAS BORN WITH GREY EYES AND STRAIGHT BLACK HAIR. WELL WE WENT TO TAKE THE TEST WHEN SHE WAS 2 WKS OLD. BUT A WEEK BEFOREW THAT I CALLED HIM UP SO THAT HE COULD MEET HER AND RIGHT OFF THE BAT HE DENYED HER BECAUSE OF HER FEATURES. HIS FAMILY DENYED HER AND THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL HE STARTED ACTING LIKE DADDY THIS AND DADDY THAT EVEN BEFORE THE TEST CAME BACK, THREATING ME AND STUFF. SO ANYWAY THE TEST CAME BACK AND S'RAYI PROVED TO BE HIS. I MADE HIM APOLIGIZE TO ME AND HER BEACUSE OF THE HELL HE PUT ME THROUGH. BUT IF U HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE AND U KNOW FOR A FACT THAT SHE IS HIS GIVE HIM THE TEST TO MAKE HIM AND HIS FAMILY LOOK AND FEEL STUPID. THATS WHAT I DID AND THEY COME AND GET HER EVERY WEEKEND AND BUY HER THE THINGS THAT SHE NEEDS AND LOVE HER LIKE SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE LOVED. GOOD LUCK