recently i lost my baby due to the docs could not find a heartbeat. So i had the fetus removed and ever since that day i have not stop thinking what i could have done to prevent me from losing my little one.

I had an abortion in october last year i was upset yes of course, but when i lost my baby at 11.5 weeks i was and still am devested that i could have tried harder to prevent from this happing.

Has anyone ever had the same feelings that im going through when they lost a baby???

I dont know if i should go and speak to someone about this or try and work it out by myself? If anyone knows please tell me

You know your own feelings better than anyone. If you think you could benefit from speaking to someone, there's certainly no harm in that. In addition, I suggest prayer. As for preventing this happening, you probably could have done everything perfectly and you still might have lost your baby, unfortunately. Sometimes, these things happen for no good reason. I would strongly suggest you give yourself time before trying to conceive again. You've been through a lot recently and I would imagine your body and your heart both need healing. Take care.

oh my goodness... sending lotsa cyber-hugs your way!
i wish i could make you feel better with just words...
i would suggest speaking to someone about what you've been through.
its no small thing to lose a baby, let alone having been through a termination too, and i'm sure blaming yourself is a normal part of the healing process\"...
god bless

Your loss is so recent.that it's going to really hurt for a while.You'll never forget your baby,but you can cope! Just rely on family and friends and take care of yourself.This is a bereavement like any other and as time goes by,it should become easier to bear.If,after a good while,you really feel you still can't cope,then maybe you should see about counselling

heya i felt like that, i lost my baby on august the 1st my 15th bithday and im 17 this august and i was led in bed the other night and i started to cry just thinking of what if i was more careful when i was pregnant and what if i would have had my baby, he/she would of been 1 in febuary. but then i was thinking, but if i would have had my baby i wouldnt of met my bf now. hes the love ov my life, everything happens for a reason. when u are ready u will have a baby and u will be a good mum. hope this has helped you. if u want to talk then u can talk to me on here x

Hi there.

Don't try to work this out by yourself. Your being on this site already indicates that you do want to seek out help.

Yes, it's pretty normal for you to feel that way. It takes a while before we can live with the reality that we're given by God. When I went through an abortion, I didn't think much of it. It was only until my wfie and I lost a baby after having fed, clothed, bathed and put him to sleep for five months that the reality of having lost two babies really hit us. It was a while before I could really move from this. What really solidified everything was the birth of a daughter a couple of years later and yet another daugther a year after that.

You need to talk to someone definitely. It doesn't even need to be someone who went through that though there are people here who have. This is an experience that necessitates the true healing power of the love of people who really do care for you. Don't sell them short by keeping them out of your life. Don't sell yourself short either. They were given to you for a reason and this is one of those reasons.

Lastly, take heart that the mere fact that you're still alive indicates one thing: God cares for you and is holding you in the loving palm of His hand. Take heed and get strength from that. He's taking care of your babies and there's no one better to care for them.

There are cases sometimes that we are utterly powerless to prevent the hurt of our loved ones and sometimes we even take an active part in their pain. In cases like those, I believe that God comes in to make sure that the care we cannot give is given a hundrefold to those who deserve it -- our babies, in this case.

Take care, honey. You owe it to your babies. They won't like it one bit if their mommy is in pain.

Erick