im 1month pregnant i just test last night it was positive and now my boyfriend wants to abort.. i cant tell my mom coz i hate her for not being good mom to me.. i dont have a father.. and i dont want to have a baby....
coz i dont want my baby to see the life im having i dont want my baby to have no daddy and to have a worst mom.. my head is telling me to abort.. but something stoppin me..
and i know my boyfriend would do anything to kill the baby.. im so sorry that i cant be strong to fight for it.. coz i know i cant give the baby a good future..

i dont know what to do... i feel hopeless:((
helpless:((

Hey there Sweetie, I know how you feel about not wanting to talk to your mom...I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant with my first, to my absolute surprise she was the one who told me not to have an abortion, the dad told me I had to have one and I was going to listen until my mom and my sister convinced me not to, I am so glad I listened, my daughter is 7 mow and in second grade...I will be honest, it was hard, I was not a very good mom for the first couple of years of her life but I learned, my mom took her own life when I was 3 1/2 months along so I she never met my daughter and I obviously never had her help or influence to be a good mom, I know that you feel like your life is going down the drain, that there is no hope, the world is crashing around you, it is ok to feel that way and part of it is true, but you don't have to stay in that spot, as hard as it is you need to pull yourself up, Stand Up, you can do this, you just have to take one little step at a time, first step would be to call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, they can give you the number and location to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, someone to listen to you, let you cry on their shoulder if needed, they can give you vitamins and explain things in detail about pregnancy, adoption and abortion, they could even help you tell your mom so that you don't have to do it alone, there are also protective orders you can get to keep you safe from your boyfriend, I had one during my first pregnancy, he told me that the baby wasn't his and that he wished me and the baby would die, he pushed me back on my bed and he would have gone further if my mom hadn't come in and physically removed him from the house...it was scary and the judge gave me a restraining order...please don't listen to your brain but to your heart there is so much help and information out there, you don't have to walk through this alone, you have all of us here and if you call that number you can have some face to face help where you are at...you may feel hopeless but that is the perfect place to be if you want to witness a miracle, I was there and looking back it was really scary at the time but once you take some deep breaths and accept this new stage of your life you will find that things get better, easier and actually really enjoyable, this is YOUR baby, no one can force you to abort and you don't want to rob yourself of the amazing things that can come from being a mommy.....please write back and let me know how you feel and if you have any other questions, Love Meg

Thanks Meg:)
that really help..
today was the 1st time i see the life inside my body
i also see the heartbeat moving inside me.. and that makes me cry coz i know in time soon ill lose that life...
but i think i cant..


but i cant run away from him i love him
even he dont want to have the baby..

Sweetie as hard as it is you need to put emotions and feelings on the side, I want you to take a few minutes to just breathe, clear your mind of your boyfriend, take him out of the picture, cast the fears aside for a time and reflect on the ultrasound image, see that heartbeat flicker, hear that noise like horses galloping, YOUR baby is warm, safe and floating around in peace and comfort inside of you right this moment, don't you hate it when you go camping and you are so warm inside of your sleeping bag and you have to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, the cold air hits your warm body and you go into shock, the interruption of that comfort and peace is not very nice to experience, right now your baby is warm and safe and thoroughly enjoying the soothing sound of your heartbeat and the gentle rocking of your movements, when you give birth your baby he/she may feel that cold disruption like when you get out of that warm sleeping bag but when you take baby in your arms and swaddle him/her it makes it all better, abortion doesn't allow that, not only will baby be torn from the safety and comfort of your body but you will have that same disruption in your body as well, you will feel cold and empty and you will not have that precious life to swaddle in your arms...you will wonder for the rest of your life if the baby was a boy or a girl, eye color, who's genetics would be dominant in the features, what would it sound like to be called mama and what would baby's voice sound like....so as you take all other distractions and emotions and put them aside place your hands on your tummy, feel the life inside of you and cast the fears aside, this is not about your boyfriend, this is YOUR baby, not just his and you need to protect this little life with all that is in you....Love Meg