Hi. I'm so upset and confused right now. I'm pregnant, unexpectedly. I'm not a teenager, I'm 25. But, I already have a 6 year old, and I am a single mother. I don't know how I can do it again. My daughter is always being dragged around and doesn't have a fair life for a little kid. The job I work has odd hours ( I work in long term care) and she has to stay in daycare until 11 at night. This is a challenge, and i feel terrible that this is how her life is. I don't want to do this with another child.
A year ago, I had an abortion. I had been in a relationship for 4 years, and he left me when we got pregnant. I chose to have an abortion because i didn't think I could do it again alone and with 2 children. I didn't think it would be fair to either child. It was so hard and a day doesn't pass that I don't think about it.

Now, here I am pregnant again. I met my present boyfriend very shortly after my last relationship eneded, and it was as if everything happened for a reason. This man is what one could only describe as my "soulmate" even though i've always been skeptical of that term. But really, I don't think I could find a better person for me if I searched for the rest of my life. He loves not only me, but also my daughter. His whole family accepts us as well.

When I told him that I was pregnant, he hugged me and told me that it was going to be OK. He told me he would love me and be there for me no matter what I decided. I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said that he doesn't feel like he is ready to have a child, and that he thinks it would be the smartest decision to abort it. He said he thinks it would be better to decide if we truely want to be together forever without it being based on the fact that we have a child together. He said we can have kids later. He wants to be married first.
He also made valid points that we don't have th income for it, he is 23 and only has a part time low income job and still lives with his parents. He recently finished university with a marketing degree, but jobs right now are scarce as we all know. He also said that he's worried that us having a child could complicate our relationship.
That is my main fear, I love him so much and don't want to ruin our relationship. He is amazing to me and my daughter. I don't want to drag him into something he is not ready for. I don't want him to ever resent me. So I told him i was going to have an abortion. But I don't think that's really what I want.
I don't know what to do. I'm so sad.

sorry this is so long.

Hey Luckylove, i feel where ur coming from completely. i'm 24. a mom of 2 gorgeous little boys and possibley pregnant by the 22 yr. old love of my life. Life can set things up in the oddest of ways. dont blame yourself 4 ur feelings just make sure u r being as honest as possible with ur partner. he sounds like a good guy and one who is probably more than willing 2 hear u out. try not to leave him in the dark. whatever decision u come to let him be there to support u in making it. From beginning to end. Good Luck! hope everything works out 4 the best;)

Hey hun,

How long have you been dating this guy for? He sounds very supportive, but it is easy for him to tell you to abort as men don't know the connection a mother shares with her unborn child.

In my opinion, a baby is a blessing from God, and the Lord never gives us more then we can handle. You probably still live with the pain of your first abortion, imagine that a second time around? I support you in whatever you choose but abortion will haunt you for the rest of your life, many girls on the site who have had abortions still mourn everyday for their lost child.

Have you considered adoption? There are tons of loving couples out these who cannot conceive who would love to adopt your beautiful baby.

best of luck, sign my guestbook if u want to talk

-Enya <3

Look hun, I know that this is a really really hard thing. I know that you don't want to lose your bf and you don't think that it would be fair to your daughter or your baby to keep the baby. But you know what? LIFE IS WORTH LIVING!!! Do you really honestly want to have another abortion? Look if your bf won't stick with you when you have a baby, he's really not worth your time, and he is especially not worth killing for.
If he really loves you you should get married. If not, you should stop having sex and wait until you really are sure that he is the 'one'. But don't kill your baby because of a mistake that you made. Adoption is always an option, ya know.
Your baby deserves to have a chance at life. Just because you had an abortion last time doesn't mean that you should have another one or that it was the right decision.
At the very least do some research on abortions. Don't let yourself have the regret of not knowing what it was you were deciding.
I know that this is a really tough thing, and my heart aches for you. I hope that everything works out for you!
Hugs!

luckylove, I hear your situation, I do. Let me tell you a story. My parents didn't use contraception, and they ended up having 13 children. 2 died, one at four by spider bite and the other still born. We're eleven brother's and sisters. My father died when I was two. My mother bacame a persioner at the age of 43. She had a 2, 4,8,10,13,15,17,18,20,21,22year old. My brother had just turned 21. I was the youngest. Yes, we struggled, but we are all successful today. I am 23, studying chemistry, married with a little one of 6 months. HAVE YOUR LITTLE BABY. DON"T GRIEVE ANOTHER ONE! abortion is another funeral for you. Your child will survive the circumstances. We all did. My mother didn't wish that half of us (or more) was dead. Abortion is not best for you. It is you who feels the life in you and you who will feel the loss and emptiness. Your boyfriend doesn't understand. I think that if you could explain the kind of life your baby will have growing up to your baby, I think he will still say, "Mommy please keep me." Please love this one enough. Have the faith to go on. Let God carry you. PRAY. It's a little baby, with little fingers and little toes. Let him live so you can hear him giggle, see him smile. He wants to meet you, lie on your chest. Abortion is a horrific death for your unborn promise. I've seen an ultrasound video of a baby being aborted. you can google it. The baby's heartbeat reaches over 200 beats per minute, and tries to swim away from the instruments of the abortionist. The baby's mouth is open (screaming). Okay, your daughter is not having the greatest life in the world (compared to many it is quite fine), but imagine her being ripped apart at your command - to save her apparently - is that better? Your daughter has life, breath, and she has her mommy. Ask her if she wishes you rather aborted her. Your baby is safe now inside your womb, but you want your womb to become the grave place for him/her. The hellhole of existence. Yeah you can always have children, but you'll never have this one! No one can stop you from keeping your baby! When your boyfriend first sees your child, he will never wish he killed him/her! My brother wanted his girlfriend to abort their child. She made the appointment, but just didn't go. She just went ahead merrily and had the child. Now I can't believe they wanted to kill my 3 year old nephew. He thinks his a rock star and he loves Barney! He says he is "sree yes owd"! Have mercy on your child, let your grace abound. Forgive your child for being conceived. Take it one day at a time, you may be dead tomorrow. If I was in your situation, I'd keep my child! Let there not be 2 or more abortions to your name. Where is the baby you aborted now? He is with the Lord, wondering when he will meet you. How old would he have been?

If he is going to marry you anyway, then what is the difference between keeping your child now and having him/her after the marriage? Is it a boy or a girl? How big is the baby? How fast is the heartbeat? Don't pretend it's not a life or a human being. First find out the answers to these questions before you decide. You don't really want to kill your baby do you?
You had a tough time raising your daughter alone. Do you wish you rather aborted her?