First off if you're going to spout off about something that's not the answer to my question then bugger off because your ignorance is infuriating. *ahem*

Well I find this really weird, they say that you resume your sex life within the first year and all that stuff but I find that I am ready to resume where we left off but I am INSANELY PARANOID OF GETTING PREGNANT AGAIN. I'm even at the point where I keep thinking I'm pregnant but we've only had sex like three times and it was with a condom...I don't even know if he came in me or not. The other thing is I'm breastfeeding on demand and that is suppoused to make you infertile but yet I am still paranoid. This is really bad though because my poor hubby is just dying. I mean he's not sexually deprived but he can't get over why we won't have sex anymore. I do want to, I'm just incredibly, incredibly paranoid. It's frustrating for both of us.
Why am I so demented?? Has anyone else had this problem, the fear of getting pregnant overwhelms the urge to have sex? HELP ME!!

Hi “Breathless”, my name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mails and forums.

You sound like you are having a really difficult time with many things. So let’s start from the beginning. Firstly – I’d love to help in any way that I can. I hope that by my putting my heart to paper, that it will help you at least a little bit. J

I usually tell everyone that asks questions about pregnancy and protection – “If you have sex, you ALWAYS are running the risk of pregnancy.” Breast feeding does NOT make you 100% infertile. Not at all! That’s a common mistake many girls make. You STILL can get pregnant while breastfeeding if you are having sex. There is a certain criteria that you need to follow to MAYBE be ‘infertile’ while breast feeding – but even if you follow that criteria, it does NOT mean that you are infertile 100% nor does it mean it will work in every case. So breast feeding is not a sure way of not getting pregnant.

Breastfeeding on demand is quite exhausting for you. I would recommend a Le Leche League meeting somewhere in your area. You may be able to find one on line – but they really are helpful with moms and with wonderful breastfeeding advice.

Regarding ‘protection’ or condoms or any sort of birth control. Even if your husband is ‘not completing the act’ – you STILL can get pregnant. Just so you know that there is sperm in the man’s lubrication. So you STILL can get pregnant even if he does not complete the act. Really … no form of ‘birth control’ is 100%. I got pregnant using birth control and I talk to sooooo many girls on this site that have gotten pregnant while using every form of birth control you can think of.

Truly – there is only one form of birth control that IS 100% and that is ‘abstaining’ from sex. Now of course when you are married, you should NOT abstain from intimacy with your husband. It’s just not fair to him and when we get married, we are then vowing not to withhold our bodies from our husbands.

Now of course – before marriage, the best decision to avoid pregnancy is abstaining from sex. You know why I say that? Because, well I just got married a few short years ago and my husband and I saved ourselves until marriage. But you know – I wasn’t always like that. I just finally realized one day that my body was NOT to just be given to anyone that didn’t want to commit the rest of his life to me. Trust me – there was a time when I absolutely was in love … but it still does NOT make it a good thing to have sex before marriage. There is so much more than sex to learn about each other. You know what I mean? I have a whole married life to be intimate with my husband. And he even showed me that he loved and respected me by waiting until our wedding night. He showed me that he wanted me and loved me by waiting. I’ve learned a lot of lessons – and unfortunately, I’ve learned them the hard way. You know?

Why don’t you want to get pregnant again? Are you married? If you are married and if you get pregnant again – is your husband supportive? Are you able to stay home with your baby? Why are you so afraid to get pregnant again?

Sorry for all the questions. It’s just some questions that I ask to maybe help you to think it through too.

I hope that I helped at least a little bit. Take care.

Luv Lisa

im having the same problem..=/ except well its been 2 years...i'm kinda thinking thats not normal but really i dont know what to do i really do not want another kid

I think your situation is slightly different, you are married and it is not really a good thing to \"withhold\" from your husband...if you are concerned about getting pregnant again in your circumstances then you should call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, it is a place called Optionline and they can give you the number and location to the closest pregnancy center where you live, you can go and seek advice in NFP, natural family planning, and sometimes they offer free or reduced birth control services to married women...the thing you want to watch out for is certain birth controls are abortificants, they work by not letting the already conceived baby implant in your uterus rather than preventing sperm and egg from meeting and conceiving....they will be able to counsel you to help you find what is the best method for your family....Hope this helps...Meg

hey I totally feel u.. im also scared to have sex again. I couldnt picture myself havin another baby right now. Im tired all the time. Since I never want to have sex my husband always wants oral sex but I dont feel comfortable. I have a docs appointment next week and im starting birth control... im also breastfeeding

w/b