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I thought to myself, "I would NEVER do that. Ever. I'm only 5 weeks along. I'm taking the pill, just like you would take medicine. There is no heartbeat. This is NOT an abortion." I guess when you are in shock, and you WANT to justify what you are doing, you will tell yourself all kinds of things. I can only look back at that thought, and that canister and suction device sitting there...

Life is wearing a bra that is three years old with holes in it because you had to spend all your extra money buying your child's shoes. Life is meetings with the teacher about your child's behavior problems. Life is watching  the look in a man's eye fade from interest to disappointment or annoyance when they find out you're a single mom. Life is trying to study for an exam with two screaming kids in the background. Life is having people stare at you because your 6 year old is having a huge tantrum and they don't understand that he has Autism, they all just think you are a terrible parent.

Sitting there just thinking to myself, alright I'm really going to do this. I walked into the room when I was called and the lady did an ultrasound and told me that I was 18 weeks pregnant. And... it was too late to have an abortion there. She then told me to sit with a counselor and the counselor encouraged me to go to another clinic that preformed abortions after 18 weeks because being 16 and pregnant would be hard. They also told me that I should tell an adult like my mother but only tell her after I have the procedure done. I remember just sitting there like woah...

I ended up telling my parents the day before my high school graduation cause I was playing on my dad's softball team and he kept yelling at me week after week to slide and I wouldn't do it. He didn't know why so he just kept saying why are you slacking your a better ball player than that. And finally I couldn't do it anymore and I went home after the softball game and cleaned up and then I told my mom since my dad was not home yet. My mom just got really mad and started saying "I knew it, I knew" and crying. She kept asking "how could you do this after all the conversations we had about having sex and babies...